The SoapBoxers

The CMAs

Last night was the Country Music Association’s awards show (also know as The CMAs).  I’m not much of a fan of award shows in general, but I like country music, so it served as a good soundtrack for the evenings work (which, unfortunately, consisted of battling some annoying technical problems with the web site).

The star of the evening, to no great surprise, was Taylor Swift (see Cheri’s Nobel’s August article about Taylor here).  Taylor has been the talk of country music since bursting onto the scene as a sixteen year old in 2006.  Swift is now a veteran in the business and is rapidly approaching the advanced age of 20.  Last night was her coronation as the new queen of country music.  Not only did she nab trophies for female vocalist of the year, album of the year, and video of the year she also snatched Kenny Chesney’s crown and was named the entertainer of the year – the most prestigious honor the CMA bestows each year.  She became the youngest performer to win the award and was also the first female to win since Shania Twain a decade ago.

The show also featured a farewell performance by legendary duo Brooks and Dunn, who will hang up their guitars later this year.  Incredibly, it has been eighteen years since their debut album.  I’m really not sue what it says about me that See Jane Dance is my favorite B&D song.

Rock musicians were popping up all over the place during the show.  Darius Rucker (of Hootie and the Blowfish fame) nabbed the trophy for new artist of the year.  [Note to self – pick up a copy of Rucker’s album, Learn to Live.]  There was also a trio of duets featuring rock artists.  Kid Rock, who has also charted with country songs, performed with country newcomer Jamey Johnson.  Dave Matthews sang with Kenny Chesney, and Daughtry partnered up with Vince Gill.

Blue Hippo

Blue Hippo, which advertises computers “with no credit check”, is in trouble with the FTC.  The first time I saw a Blue Hippo commercial, my eyes popped out of my head when I calculated the amount of revenue they were raking in for each computer sold.  The Blue Hippo financing plan features a down payment and 52 weekly payments.  After 13 weeks, they send you the computer and you then continue to make the remaining 39  payments.  One problem is that for the amount you pay in those first 14 payments (down payment + 13 weekly payments) you could make a substantial dent in the cost of a new computer.

The second problem is that Blue Hippo is not actually delivering the computers as promised.  The FTC has filed complaints about Blue Hippo regarding its business practices in the past.  The FTC says that those business practices have continued, and today asked a federal court to  issue a contempt order against Blue Hippo.

It seemed to me that Blue Hippo could have scored sizable profits by simply delivering as promised.  Instead, they chose the cross swords with the FTC?  If there was ever a case of a company killing the goose that laid the golden egg, this would be it.

Baseball Free Agents

Baseball free agency is upon us!  While the rest of the world has been going about their business in the past week, I have been assembling a panel of baseball fans to weigh in and make prediction on where the top free agents will land.  Swing by on Saturday to check out the predictions.

In Today’s segment of The Soap Boxers, we travel to the faraway land of New Zealand to chat with Baker from ManVsDebt.  Due to the inherent danger in falling off the edge of the world, Kosmo has delegated this trip to beat reporter Scoop Chevelle. 

Scoop (to camera):  Wow, I just flew in from America, and boy are my arms tired!  I have been sent here to track down Baker.  After failed attempts to locate the correct Baker at six different bakeries, I took a moment to re-check my instructions.  It turns out that Baker is the name of the person I am looking for, rather than the occupation.  I always mess up some mundane detail.  Finally, at long last, I have located the man they call Baker.

Scoop (to Baker):  You have had quite a whirlwind experience, Baker.  You left Indiana for the green pastures of Australia.  You were quickly kicked out of Australia and sent to live in New Zealand.  Where are you headed if you get kicked out of New Zealand – Tokelau?

Baker: Thailand, actually!  But only for a couple months.  After that the sky is the limit.  Well, we probably won’t stay in the sky for long actually.  We might tour the good ‘ole fashion U. S. of A. or explore all Europe has to offer!  Ask me the day before we leave.  😉 

Scoop: In the span of about six months, you have gone from virgin blogger to a veritable rock star in the world of personal finance bogging.  What is your secret?  Is there any truth to the rumor that you slept your way to the top?

Baker: Actually, I didn’t sleep.  And that’s how I got to what you call the “top.”  Haha, seriously though it’s been a lot of work.  My secrets are to try my earnest to put out compelling content (not just a post for posts sake), be as transparent as I possibly can (people seem to enjoy that), and network with as many and as influential bloggers as I can!

Sounds easy, but it takes a lot of hard work, frustrating hours, and wasted time on Twitter.  And that’s just to get to the point I’m at now, which I’ll quickly point out is nowhere close to the top!  I’m just trying to get on the B-list.  😉

Scoop: There have also been allegations that you have been outsourcing some of your writing and violating child labor laws in the process.  Fess up – how much of the content is written by Milligan?

Baker: Haha, actually while Milligan is yet to type anything coherent on the keyboard (she could write for Ezines probably), she inspires a lot of the content.  She’s the reason Courtney and I began our battle against debt.  Staying home with her is the catalyst that led me to start the blog, too.  And she’s our motivation to keep chugging along and trying our best to take advantage of the moment.

So really, she plays a big part whether she knows it or not!

Scoop: You have recently formed a militia at ManVsDebt.com.  Are the authorities OK with this?  Are you currently looking for people who are proficient with specific weapons?  I shoot a pretty mean arrow from my crossbow, and I got mad skillz with the slingshot as well.

Baker: We are an equal-opportunity Militia.  Seriously, though, I’m trying to carve out a space for the most passionate members of the community to be involved in a deeper way.  These are the biggest fans and people that actually care about the direction of Man Vs. Debt, which is flattering!

I do my darndest, to find opportunities to give back with special information, book giveaways from publishers that contact me, and by giving them a say in the future decision of the community.  I feel honored to have a special list of people who are ready to fight!  😉

Scoop: As part of your minimalist goals, you keep a list of your possessions on your site.  Some of us have noticed a rather disturbing trend.  You left Indiana with five pairs of socks – but this has been sharply reduced and you now possess only three pairs of socks.  Holy cheese balls, Batman – what’s happening to your socks?

Baker: Are you stalking me?  Haha, seriously though I just threw out a couple pair that were long overdue.  It’s summer now here, so I wear my Keen sandals as much as I can now.  I’ll probably have to buy some more for running though soon!

Scoop: OK, we’ll get serious for a moment.  What advice do you have for someone who is just getting starting as a blogger?

 Baker: This is a big question, but I’ll make it as quick as possible.  First, find a topic that you are so passionate about that you feel like you could write for 4 hours a day for the next 5-10 years. This is the MOST important step.  Doesn’t matter what the topic is …  you can make it work if you are passionate on this level.

Next, write compelling content not just average content.  Too many bloggers think they have to post everyday, 3 times a week, or 3 times a day.  There is no prescription.  Only write as often as you can consistently be compelling, sometimes this is 3 times a month, in rare cases in can be twice a day.

Lastly, network UP.  Pick out the big guys and go after them.  Support their “pet” projects, buy their products and do reviews, respond to them on Twitter.  Once you’ve established a small connection, reach out to them in e-mail.  Send them a fully written, editing, and pre-linked post that you’ve researched and know their audience will like.  Aim high, don’t spend time guest posting on blogs with the same influence as you.

Oh, and cross your fingers and hope to get lucky…  You’ll need a bit of that too.

Scoop: OK, one final question.  If this is New Zealand, what did they do with the old Zealand?

Baker: It’s in name Heaven beside its friends York and Hampshire.

Baker is a long time friend of The Soap Boxers.  Be sure to check out his blog at www.manvsdebt.com

If you visited The Soap Boxers just to see the interview with Baker, feel free to look around a bit. Browse the archives, subscribe to the RSS feed, or simply come back again tomorrow. We offer a full money back guarantee. If you read us for a week and don’t like the content, we will refund 100% of the purchase price.  RSS subscribers gain access to my two fiction eBooks – look for the “free ebook of short stories” link in the RSS footer (just to the left of the copyright information).

Driving across the Great Plains, the great midsection of America, is quite the chore. Interstates 80, 90, and 94 seemingly drag on for mile after mile no matter which direction one travels. If a driver starts somewhere in the middling Midwest and drives west, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The Rocky Mountains will throw up their barriers at some point during your trip, and if you’re heading west on 90/94 through Montana, eventually you will pass within 60 miles of one of the Nation’s great gems.

Glacier National Park sits on just over 1 million acres in northwest Montana and shares a border with Canadian provinces Alberta and British Columbia. Glacier’s southern border is mostly distinguished by the spectacular Flathead River, one of the great trout fisheries in North America. Glacier is often visited, but would never be considered busy like some of the southern parks, as the park is mainly trail-based with very few roads or dirt tracks. If you want to see something in Glacier, you are going to have to walk there.

The entrance to the east side of the park is certainly the most breathtaking as large, imposing mountains rise suddenly and sharply out of serene plains lands. There is one main entrance to Glacier from the east, and other smaller entrances that do not allow one to cross the park by car. Only the St. Mary’s entrance on world famous Going-to-the-sun road will allow the visitor to enter from the east and exit on the west side. The other entrances on the east side include Many Glacier, Cut Bank, and Two Medicine. Having visited all but the Cut Bank entrance, it is fair to say they each hold their own unique charms.

The Park is full, as one would guess, of glacial remnant lakes. Water as clear as glass and as cold as one can imagine. These lakes form various streams, runoffs, waterfalls, and rivers as the waters naturally find a path of descent towards the larger valley lakes at lower elevations. Nearly every lake in the park is accessible by hiking path, and quite a few are no more than a day hike away from a road. Some of the most visited are Grinnell Lake, Iceberg Lake, and Hidden Lake. While these are still breathtaking, it is suggested to attempt to visit some the lesser visited lakes like the Kintla Lakes in the north of the park, and Helen Lake, a 4 day hike/camp from the nearest road.

Whomever takes the wheel for the trip over the pass on Going-to-the-sun road, make sure they have steady hands and steady nerves as the hairpin turns can cause nervousness. The views make the entire trip worth it, however. Broad valleys, distant peaks, various waterfalls, and numerous wildlife make the tight, curvy road well worth attempting. On the west side of the park, and on the road at lower elevation sits Avalanche Creek campground. It is one of the few full use campgrounds in the park and charming in its own right. Campsites are relatively private and are separated by swaths of old growth trees. Some trunks take 5 people to make the circumference.

Once reaching the west side of the park, it is suggested to drive north (summertime preferred) along the park boundary towards Logging Creek and Polebridge. Stopping in Polebridge is quite a tradition for many backpackers as its mercantile store offers various freshly baked pastries and fudges to replenish the calories so fervently burned on the trails. This unincorporated village also has residents who have built a private shower facility for those in need of a wash, and checking out the map and lists of visitors is worth the $5 alone.

Realistically, Glacier is too large and too enjoyable to only spend a day or two. Even the casual outdoors lover will find the Park stealing their heart and reminding them what the Rocky Mountains looked like, felt like, and smelled like in the 1800s. When you plan your trip to Glacier, take your time and enjoy the grandeur. You will learn quickly why Glacier is held as a holy land by the various Native American tribes who historically lived there. It is a treasure not to be missed.

It began innocently enough.  Someone placed an ad in the company electronic classified ads looking for people to join a simulation baseball league.  Since this was December and I was suffering from baseball withdrawal, I basically saw “blah blah blah BASEBALL blah blah”.  I asked for some details.  The league was based on something called “Mogul”.  GMs (otherwise known as “human players”) controlled various aspects of a team, such as drafting players, developing them, making trades, and determining optimal lineups.  A friend would later refer to this as the baseball equivalent of Dungeons and Dragons.  (I’ve never actually played D&D, so I’m not sure how accurate this assessment is.)  I had never heard of Baseball Mogul, but it sounded interesting.

I contacted the league commissioner at his “plush offices” in Montana.  He pointed me to a web site displaying the rules.  Some of them made a lot of sense, and some of them referred to concepts that I didn’t fully understand.  In any case, it was December and I needed my baseball fix, so I jumped in headfirst.  I was granted custodianship of the Atlanta Braves, who were in the midst of the dreadful season.  I would guide them to a 10-10 finish to allow them to finish the 2015 season with 52 wins and 110 losses.  On the bright side, my record allowed me to snag the #3 pick in the upcoming draft.  This was a good thing, because pretty much all of my players sucked, with very little talent in the minors.

While the league was based on Baseball Mogul, the commisioner built a lot of extra features into the league.  I actually toyed around with Mogul for a while, and found that it wasn’t nearly as interesting as the actual league.  For those of you who are familiar with Mogul – one of the twists was that the commish was the only person with the player file – meaning that he was the only one who knew when a player would peak and decline.

The discussion board

There were 30 different GMs in the league (later expanded to 32 teams as a result of league expansion) – spread all across the country.  A GM gained “league credits” for writing articles about his team or about the league in general.  Many of the articles took the form of “my team was 14-6 during the last sim, and this is how my players did”.  The more interesting articles would analyze various aspects of the league.  Who were the best centerfielders in the league?  Who were the top 50 minor league prospects in the league?  Most interesting were questions such as the importance of productive outs and the value of stolen bases (as well as the cost of failed steal attempts.)  It was a discussion in the sim league that made me completely change my opinion about the cost of strikeouts.

The draft

Everyone in the league had access to a file containing statistics and a general scouting report on potential draftees.  The scouting discussed a hitter’s contact, power, speed, batting eye, and defense.  A pitcher’s endurance, control, power, and movement were mentioned in the pitcher reports.  The players ranged in age from 18 year old high school players to 24 year old college students.  Obviously, you can’t compare a high school pitcher’s 3.00 ERA against a college pitcher’s 3.00 ERA – the college player faced more difficult competition.  Each GM then had the opportunity to obtain ten “free” advanced scouting reports that would contain a more accurate assessment of a player’s abilities.  The GM could then spend league credits to obtain additional advanced scouting reports.  Among other things, the ASR provided insights into a player’s coachability.

Player development

GMs had the ability to determine the development of a player.  Players will develop somewhat on their own – with the more coachable player improving more than the less coachable players.  GMs then have the ability to boost a player’s development with winter ball.  For the price of league credits, you can focus on a particular area of a player’s development.  For example, you might choose to send the player to weight training to boost his power.  In my mind, player development was one area where a GM could add considerable value to an organization by determining the optimal options – which players to send to winter ball and for which skills.  I always wrote a ton of article for the message board in an effort to max out my league credits – which I funneled into winter ball.

Trading

Trading was far and away my favorite part of the league.  Over the course of my tenure in the league, I traded with very nearly every other GM.  Some of them I found to be very easy to deal with while others were considerably more difficult to trade with.  In the latter stages, I did blacklist a couple of GMs because of extreme difficulties working with them – it simply wasn’t worth the effort.

I was definitely one of the more active traders in the league.  I even found myself in the middle of a few three way trades.  There is a lot of bluffing in trade negotiations, and this was probably the most fun.  Which trade partner needed the trade more?  How far could I push the other GM before they would back down?  If I walked away from a deal, would the other GM chase?

Many of the trades centered around minor league players.  GMs could obtain minor league reports on their own players (but not players from other teams).  These reports often provided valuable insights to a player’s potential, and could be a critical bargaining chip during trade talks.  However, development could take unforeseen curves – turning a mediocre prospect into a great player or a great prospect into a mediocre player.

How did Kosmo do?

One of the first things I did was start obtaining players who were dumped onto waivers by other teams who were looking to save a few bucks.  I acquired a slugging first baseman via trade, and in my third full season in the league, my ragtag band of players made the playoffs.

After four playoff appearances with the Braves, I had the opportunity to jump ship and get behind the helm of the Colorado Rockies – my favorite “real life” team.  The NL West offered stiffer competition than the NL East, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to run my favorite team.  The Rockies were floundering.  I quickly shuffled things up a bit, and an apparent fire had been lit under the team, as they rallied and took the NL West crown.  The Rockies picked up division titles in 2031 and 2036.  In all, my teams won seven division titles in my 24 full seasons in the league (spanning 3 ½ calendar years).

During my time in the league, I developed quite a few tools to aid in my analysis of players and draftees.  Some of these I shared with other GMs, and some of them I kept under my hat until this very day.  I also tracked particular behaviors of GMs in order to gauge how they would value a particular type of player in a trade – in order to take advantage of situations where they would overvalue or undervalue players.  If a GM would consistently send pitchers to winter ball to work on their movement, this was a sign that the GM might overvalue that skills in trades.

I had a tendency to write two types of articles for the message board.  The one variety would be math based and focus on analyzing a particular skill or determining a formula that could be used in ongoing analysis.  The second type of article were quirky fiction pieces.  These fiction pieces served as a catalyst for the fiction you see on The Soap Boxers each Friday.

Finally, I stepped down from the league.  Why?  Simply because the amount of time that The Soap Boxers required made it impossible to be an effective GM.  It was great fun while it lasted, and if I ever give up writing, I’ll surely find myself back in the league.

At long last, I finally finished The Lost Symbol on Sunday night.  Instead of the ten days I had alloted for it, it took nearly two months to finally finish the book.  Much of the blame for the delay falls squarely upon the amount of time consumed by writing The Cell Window.

So, what did I think?

Overall Observations:

First of all, the book is long.  It is slightly more than 500 pages.  I personally see this as a positive.  I enjoy reading (when I get the time) and if the book is good, why not extend the pleasure?

When I first heard that the book would be set in Washington, DC (rather than flitting from one locale to the next) I feared that it would turn into something like National Treasure.  Mind you, I enjoyed National Treasure,  but I consider Brown’s works to be a step above it.  Both are good, but picking up a Brown novel and finding National Treasure inside would be like ordering a ribeye steak and having the waiter bring a sirloin.  You’d still enjoy the meal, but it would be missing a certain je ne sais quois.  Happily, this was not the case.

I’ve seen the book get panned by a few people.  I don’t full understood why someone would react adversely to it.  I thoroughly enjoyed it and found it to be in line with Brown’s other works.  The only thing that makes sense is if a person was a fan of The Da Vinci Code and not of Brown’s others work.  [Note: see my author profile of Brown for information about his other novels.]

Plot:

It’s definitely a fascinating tale.  I don’t want to spoil the plot for those who haven’t read it, but the book packs quite a bit of action and quite a few interesting locations into the plot, considering that all of the action is contain within Washington, D.C.  We also get some interesting back stories into the lives of some of the principal characters.  And, once again, Robert Langdon is romantically linked to a female character.  Come on, Langdon, settle down!

Characters:

I’m of fan of the character of Langdon.  The fact that he wears a Mickey Mouse watch as a way to make sure he never takes himself too seriously coincides quite nicely with the fact that I have stuffed versions of Pooh and Eeyore in my cubicle (as well as a small menagerie of stuffed animals) for much the same reason.

The antagonist in the book is also very well developed.  It takes a brilliantly warped mind to develop the sorts of antagonists that find their way into Brown’s novels.

There are quite a few other fairly well developed characters in the book.  Quite a few of them are rather exceptional individuals.  Brown captured their essence well enough that I can imagine them quite well in my mind.

Moral / Philosophy / Controversy:

Many of Brown’s books contain a moral and/or philosophical thoughts.  I was pleasantly surprised to see that a major facet of the moral in The Lost Symbol is a philosophy that I have been advocating for several years.  I don’t think the messages within The Lost Symbol will be as controversial as those within The Da Vinci Code, but hopefully it will make people stop and think.

The Masons and masonic traditions and rituals are prominently featured in the book.  They are generally portrayed in a positive manner.

Closing thoughts:

This book initially had the working title The Solomon Key.  It quickly became apparent why – it is the surname of key characters in the plot.  I think I would have preferred for the book to keep that name.

I nailed a couple of the surprises at the end of the book.  I figured out the “mysterious location” quite early.

Buy it!

If you plan to buy the book, please considering buying it (and the other Dan Brown books) though the links below.  If you do, I’ll get a small referral bonus from Amazon.  Your price will be the same as if you entered through Amazon’s main site.

The Lost Symbol
Da Vinci Code	Angels & Demons
Deception Point	Digital Fortress

Yep, I’m too lazy to write a a full article today – so I’ll reveal bits and pieces about myself instead.

• My name – Nope, sorry, this isn’t the grand revelation.  I will remain under my curtain of anonymity.  But I’ll tease you with this – my last name, while being neither particularly common nor particularly uncommon, is contained within the title of an award-winning film and was also the last name of a main character on a popular sitcom.
• My left foot – My left foot has six toenails.  It has the standard number of toes (that would be FIVE, if you’re not sure) but one of the toes (the toe next to the big toe) has “Mickey Mouse ears” at the top, with each “ear” having a separate toe nail.  Nope, I do not plan to have surgery to “fix” the problem.  It has never been much of a problem, to be honest.
• My favorite food – My favorite food is chili, but I’m very particular.  This can be a bit problematic, since there are hundreds of different ways to prepare chili.
• Weird stuff I eat – One of my favorite treats is braunschweiger.  This is a liver based product that can be sliced into pieces.  I personally prefer to eat it between crackers.  Oddly, I don’t like any other form of liver.
• I’m not xenophobic – But I do dislike ethnic food.  Essentially any and all ethnic food.  As a general rule, the more expensive the ethnic food, the less likely I will like it.  Taco Bell and cheap frozen egg rolls are fine – but any ethnic restaurant that is above the level of fast food is likely to disagree with my palate in a violent manager.
• Don’t be so shellfish! – I am allergic to iodine, and hence to shellfish (such as shrimp).
• I can’t swim – Really, I can’t swim at all.  I lack the capacity to float, which greatly hindered my ability to learn how to swim.  On the bright side, there was one occasion where I actually thought I was going to drown during swimming lessons (because the lifeguard was a bit slow to respond to my customary sinking after jumping from the board) and I did actually manage to swim to the side during my moment of panic.   Alas, I have never managed to recapture that skill.  (Yes, yes, I was supposed to jump from the board into the deep end of the pool – that was the point of that part of the swimming lesson.)
• Typing – I have perhaps the ugliest typing method you have ever seen.  I type with the tips of my fingers (instead of the pads) and my method is far removed from “home row”.  My left hand stays basically in one place, while my right wanders across a wide swath of the keyboards, hitting keys as necessary.  Of course, after a couple of decades using this method, I do actually maintain a pretty decent speed.
• Animals – I grew up on a farm and am not a big fan of domesticated animals.  I am a fan of wild animals, though.  My favorite wild animal is the tiger.  Every year, I buy a tiger calendar for my desk at work.
• All of a sudden – This is one of my greatest pet peeves.  I absolutely hate when people say “all of a sudden” or “all of the sudden” in place of “suddenly.”  Considering what the term is trying to convey, using four words instead of one seems a bit ironic.
• If I could meet any person, living or dead … – I’d pick the living one.  The dead ones start to smell after a while 🙂

Yes.  I most certainly did alienate a reader.  I’ll refer to the reader as Reader X.

Reader X has been one of my my loyal readers.  Reader X and I had established a dialogue over email, and I had enjoyed the conversations we had shared.  However, my recent story The Cell Window struck a rather sour chord with Reader X.  Reader X considered the story to be “smut” and took me to task for making the female characters clueless rather than strong.

Those of you who have read the story can likely figure out why the female characters were “clueless”.  This wasn’t a character flaw on their part, but simply an effect of the plot.  Anyone in their situation would been clueless.  As for the characters not being stronger – if they had been stronger, this would have critically wounded the setup to the story’s ending.  The ending of the story was one of the first pieces of the story that I wrote, so I really wanted to use it.

Was the story smut?  I personally don’t think so – nor do a handful of female readers I queried.  While the content was a bit disturbing, they didn’t feel that it was any more disturbing than the typical episode of Law & Order.  Certainly there was content that was sexual in nature.  It would have been difficult to write a story with a similar plot without including some content of this type.

Does the inclusion of sexual content mean that a book is rubbish and should be tossed aside?  I certainly hope not.  If this was the case, we would lose fine books like Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird and John Grisham’s A Time To Kill.  (Don’t remember the sexual content in those books?  Grab a copy and re-read it!)  We would also be forced to cast aside the works of modern masters such as Lawrence Block and John Sandford.  Certainly, this would be a crime against literature.

Although I write fiction on a wide range of topics and using a variety of tones, I strive to become a writer of crime fiction.  It has been suggested that I am stronger with my humor writing than with crime.  This is almost certainly true – my humor pieces flow off the keyboard nearly as fast as I can write, whereas the crime stories take considerably more thought.  Nonetheless, crime fiction is what I enjoy, and it is where I would like to make my mark as a writer.

As an aspiring crime writer, I will often find myself writing passages that make a segment of my readership uncomfortable.  While I would hope all of my writing would appeal to everyone, I know that this will not be the case.  Certainly, on occasion, I will upset someone with my writing.  While I do not go out of my way to offend, I also do not go out of my way to ensure that my work doesn’t have offensive rough edges.  A key component of crime fiction is that it does have rough edges.  To refine my stories so that they were too smooth to possible offend anyone would be to subvert the genre.

And that is something I will not do.

Daniel had tossed and turned all night and was greatly annoyed when the alarm clock rang out its morning greeting.  He jumped into the shower to be greeted with a blast of arctic water.  The stupid water heater was acting up again.  Daniel made an effort to restrain himself and cursed under his breath, rather than aloud.

After showering and getting dressed, Daniel ducked his head outside to grab the morning paper.  The dumb dog from next door had already found the paper already.  The dog had pooped on the paper again.  It frustrated Daniel to no end when people were unable to pick up after their dogs.

Daniel was going to have to eat breakfast without the morning paper.  He ducked his head inside the fridge to find the milk.  It was nowhere to be found.  He was certain that there had been a nearly full gallon in the refrigerator yesterday morning.  Daniel glanced around the kitchen and spied the milk in the table.  It had been left out overnight.  He dumped the milk down the drain and resigned himself to a breakfast of Pepsi and M&Ms at work.

Daniel jumped in the car and stopped at a convenience store to grab a cup of coffee to serve as a pick-me-up until he had some breakfast in his stomach.  He entered the highway within minutes was stuck in a traffic gridlock – the effect of an accident several miles ahead.  Twenty minutes later, traffic had finally returned to normal.  Daniel hit the accelerator and was quickly up to 70 mph.  He was very happy to put the frustration of the traffic jam behind him.

Daniel was five miles away from work when he felt an odd sensation – moments before the tire blew out.  His coffee went flying out of his hand and spilled all over his pants.  Daniel cursed – aloud this time – as he pulled the car over to the side of the road.  He popped the trunk, pulled out the jack, and began to change the tire.

The monkeys at the service station had tightened the lug nuts insanely tight, and Daniel had difficulty getting them loose.  He jacked up the car with the wimpy little scissors jack from the car.  He wasn’t sure that he trusted the jack to hold the weight of the car.  Ten minutes later, Daniel had managed to change the tire, and was back on the highway.

Daniel had barely stepped into the office when he ran into his boss.

“Johnson!” Growled his boss.  “You’re late.  We start worked here at 7, not 7:30.”

“I know, boss,” Daniel replied.  “I ran into a traffic jam, and then had a flat tire.”

“Well, stop yapping your gums and get to your desk!  There’s work that needs to be done!”

Daniel went straight to his desk, not wanting to risk the wrath of the boss by detouring for candy and caffeine.

Daniel ran into trouble at every step during the day.  Despite his best efforts, none of the numbers were jiving, and the boss needed the data for a report the next day.  The report preparation that typically took an hour ending up consuming the entire day.  Daniel had hoped to spend his lunch hour getting a new tire put on the car, but instead was working at his desk.  The M&Ms and Pepsi that he intended to eat for breakfast became his lunch instead.

The day mercifully came to and end, and Daniel jumped into the car for the ride home.  Traffic was bumper to bumper, and it took an hour to cover the thirty miles.  As neared home, he remembered that it was his night to pick up Alyssa, and he veered onto the exit at the last moment.

Daniel entered the two year old room at the day car center, and Alyssa saw him from across the room.

“Daddy!” she screamed.  She raced across the room and latched onto his leg.  “I love you, daddy!”

It had been a good day.

Today, we welcome another new member to the staff.  Squeaky joins as a conservative voice for The Political Observers.  We are still looking for another liberal writer for The Political Observers segment.  Email Kosmo if you are interested.  Without further ado, I’ll turn the floor over to  Squeaky.

WOW! 2009 has been an exciting year for both Liberals and Conservatives. There has been so much political activity since November 2008 that my head sometimes spins trying to follow it all.

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Squeaky and I’m a married father of two living in Fort Collins, CO; home of the finest microbrews in the United States. You’re probably wondering where the name Squeaky came from. I am a former Law Enforcement Officer. After just a few months on the job, I was walking through one of the hallways following a long night on the streets. It was past shift change so it was pretty quiet when one of the more seasoned officers yelled, “Hey Squeaky!” I stopped and looked, but I was the only person in the hall so I knew he was referring to me. When I asked him what the name was for, he said it was because I was so new that my leather duty belt still squeaked. The next evening at lineup he made sure he announced to all of the other officers that my new name was Squeaky. That name stuck for years and a few of my friends still refer to me as Squeaky today. That’s enough about me though, let’s talk politics.

I hear the term moderate used frequently. The older I get, the more I think that it is one of the most widely overused terms in politics. Let’s clear up one thing now, I’m no moderate.

What are moderates? Moderates claim to not be “extreme” and they say that like it’s a good thing. Well, I have another thought. Why aren’t all of us extreme? Do you care about our country? Do you think that you know what is best for you and your family? Don’t you want to be part of our future? Do you want to ensure that our country remains the strongest in the world and leads the other countries? Do you just want to surrender and accept mediocrity? Then why do we have moderates?

As many negative feelings as the Barack Obama Administration stirs up for me, I can take an enormous positive away too. When I think about the excitement that followed his campaign and election, I know that citizens of the United States care. People came out in droves to support and vote for him. They followed him like a rock star and showed support for him the way I wish the Republican voters would have supported their candidates. Either way, it has taught Conservatives a priceless lesson.

There is another unexpected fire started by the Obama Administration. I am a member of the Northern Colorado TEA party. We have Obama, Pelosi and Reid to thank for the resurgence of the TEA parties. Most people that I visit with don’t have any idea what the TEA parties are about. They are not a group of racist Obama haters. They are not a group of radical or violent protestors. TEA party groups are people bound together by the common thought that we are Taxed Enough Already (TEA). We are people that want the Government to stop all the reckless spending and taxation.

I’m learning more about the new Health bill (HR 3962) every day. Earlier this week I found a document released by the CBO (Congressional Budget Office). The CBO does all the number crunching on costs and use of government programs. The one I ran across demonstrates what the costs for participants will be. Folks, I don’t know what your expectations are for this plan, but it’s far from free. In fact, it costs substantially more than what many corporate plans will cost. On top of that, these estimates are for the “average of the three lowest-cost “basic” plans”. If you would like a plan with a low deductible or wellness benefits, your premiums would be higher. You will likely be surprised to learn the costs of these “basic plans”. Here are two examples from the CBO document:

1. A single tax payer making $44,200 will pay $7300 in premium and cost sharing.
2. A family of four making $66,000 will pay $10,000 in premiums and cost sharing.
   ***Document can be accessed at this link: http://www.cbo.gov/doc.cfm?index=10691&type=1

Currently, my PPO family of four health insurance plan is loaded with benefits. It pays for my 100% of my children’s wellness visits/wellness treatments. It also pays $1000 per year for my wife’s and $1000 for my wellness benefits/wellness treatments. We pay $179 per month in premiums and have no medical based exclusions. (179 x 12 = $2148 annually)

I have pretty good health insurance coverage. If you’re a teacher, if you’re in the teamsters or work for a public entity, you probably have even better and less expensive insurance than I do. I can’t understand why anyone from these groups (that elected Obama) would want this health care option. Now that we have solid numbers supplied by the CBO, it should be obvious to everyone that government run health care is the not the answer.

The current Health Care Bill is 1,990 pages so I don’t expect everyone to read all of it. I would however hope that all voters are reading several different sources to find out the highlights of the bill. As a voter, you are responsible for knowing what our representatives are voting on and letting them know what your educated opinions are. Please, be a responsible and active voter. Learn all you can and help ensure that our country remains the free and powerful country that it is today.

Hillary Clinton has found out that being first lady has its challenges, becoming president is not so easy, but hardest of all may be going to the Middle Easte and being liked by all. In just a matter of days she has needed adjustment in her rhetoric as she met with leaders from different side of the Middle East conflict.

Early in the week during her visit to Israel she made statements praising the Jewish state for taking unprecedented steps towards peace by committing to slow the building of settlements in the “occupied” territories. Later in the week she quickly found out why it is called the Middle East conflict and not the Middle East friendly negotiation as she was roasted by the Arabs for these comments as they are considering the freeze of building of new settlements as a pre-condition to negotiations.

Hillary back peddled faster than an intern leaving the oval office after having “relations” with the President. And regarding the President’s stance on the Middle East she was quoted as saying “Perhaps those of us who work for him and communicate about this issue should have made very clear that there was no change in our position, that we were absolutely committed to the end of settlement activity.”

I am not a Hillary hater but she has to be fairly ignorant to think you can go into the Middle East tell everyone what they want to hear and not only walk away a hero but get anything accomplished. I think this little jump around in stance has gone a long way in destroying her reputation as a serious negotiator. I am not saying I have the skill set to succeed in very so many have failed but here are my opinions on how you have to approach negotiations in the Middle East.

1. Recognize that both sides are deeply tied to their views and in some cases see certain factors as not issues up for negotiation but a critical factor for their survival.
2. Recognize that unfortunately the Palestinians are highly influenced by groups that would not benefit from peace so they are in no position to really negotiate and continue to use the lack of negotiation as just fuel for would be extremists.
3. Recognize that Israel wants peace as it can gain nothing through conflict but it is a tiny country surrounded by its enemies so it can’t realistically give away key pieces of land as this would threaten its survival.
4. Finally, recognize that the Palestinians are in no position to have an effective government, as they have proved so many times, so this conflict cannot be solved just by awarding land. A Palestinian state would quickly fall apart and be a home to terrorists if they do not first evolve at simply governing themselves and having a healthy economy. I am not really sure why they have not tried this at all in the territory that they do have or in one of the Arab states around them who have plenty of land to give them.

So, my solution would be to make sure that both sides understand what is on the table and what is off the table as currently some things being asked for just cannot be given under any circumstances. Second, I would make sure that concession from either side can be monitored to make sure it is executed and each concession is reciprocated. This is important as promises are easy to break and if you are getting nothing in return then they become routine to break. Third, part of the negotiation must involve one of the “neutral” Arab states that can sponsor the Palestinians as they establish themselves. Lastly, drop the dumbest idea in the world which is preconditions. Why on earth would anyone give up something before negotiations even start.

This last point explains why negotiations have stalled as the Arabs have made it a precondition that Israel stops building new settlements. Why would a country with limited space and a growing population ever do that? Plus why would they give up one of the key things on the negotiating table before they ever sit down at the table?

Anyway, that rant is probably a good place to stop.