The SoapBoxers

Well, it is finally here, the first installment of Johnny’s Picks for 2010! It is about time college football is here!

Thursday

Marshall @ Ohio State (-28.5)
Buckeyes roll early and often. OSU 45- Marshall 10

Saturday

Pittsburgh @ Utah (-3.5)
An interesting game of varying styles. Defense and the ground game win out here. Pitt 28 – Utah 21

Miami (OH) @ Florida (-35.5)
The post Tim Tebow era begins … but not against THAT Miami. Florida 49- Miami (OH) -10

Northwestern (-3.5) @ Vanderbilt
If I could come up with a good Commodores song I would sing it now. Vandy 28 – NW- 24

Washington @ BYU (-3.5)
Jake Locker for Heisman! Washington 24-BYU 23

Cincinnati @ Fresno State (even)
I love pick em games- this will not be a defensive battle. I will take the experience with bigger success last year. The Natti – 35- Frez St. 28

Illinois vs Missouri (-13.5)
Blaine Gabbert will simply be too much here. Mizz- 29- Ill – 10

Colorado (-10.5) vs Colorado State
The Rocky Mountain Rivalry to start the year. Col 21- CSU 17

Connecticut @ Michigan (-3.5)
This one might have the maize and blue fans grumbling afterward. Mich 21- UConn 20

Oregon State @ TCU (-11.5)
Horned Frogs defense is just too strong – TCU – 24- OR St 10

Purdue @ Notre Dame (-10.5)
Boilermakers offense will carve up Touchdown Jesus. Purdue 35 – ND 31

Syracuse (-7.5) @ Akron
Gimmie the Zips in a cover – Syracuse 10 – Akron 7

Western Kentucky @ Nebraska (-35.5)
The Corn will roll in this one big time. West Kentucky has lost 20 straight. Nebs – 52- Hilltoppers – 10

Washington State @ Oklahoma State (-14.5)
Ok State lost ALL of their offense from last year – Ok St 29- Washington St 14

Utah State @ Oklahoma (-28.5)
Booooooomer Sooooooooner. The class of the conference this year. OU- 56, Utah St 10

Until next week when we add some pro games, good luck

I had the opportunity to witness a USAF air show at Offutt Field in Omaha, Nebraska this weekend. It was an incredible experience for many reasons. Air Shows are first and foremost an exposition of what our tax dollars have purchased and why. The fact that it is also very entertaining is just a pleasant side effect.

The show is a two part program; the dynamic show of a limited number of aircraft in flight demonstrations and the static show of a much larger selection of aircraft on the tarmac for close up viewing. Mixed in with the military aircraft are some private shows that are fun for the kids and filler between the military activities. There was a nice little write-up in the Omaha World Herald.

I will admit that I have a fascination with aircraft, military or civilian, so this may read like a sales pitch. On the civilian side, there was the Geico speed aerial show, the wing walker on a biplane, and the Embry Riddle stunt plane along with a small helicopter that was flying when I entered the field. The military flights included the Nave F-18J super hornet demonstrator, Air Force F-22 Raptor demonstrator, the Air Force Thunderbirds (6 F-16 eagles) and a flight over by an Air Force B-2 Spirit Bomber.

I was impressed by the capabilities of the 20 year old aircraft (F-16 and F-18), but the F-22 just blew my socks off. It is so small, fast and nimble. I wanted to have a chance to talk with the pilots but that was restricted to the VIPs, and although I have a high opinion of myself, the Air Force and the Military Police at Offutt do not share that opinion. I had to watch from behind the barriers like all of the other common people.

The static display was much more hands on. There was a B-52 Stratofortress bomber with the bomb doors open so that you could look up inside. There was a C-17 Globemaster transport that you could climb around in (it can hold a couple of school busses. The other modern vehicles included a KC-10 tanker, C-130 transport, E-3 electronics surveillance, AH-64 Apache Attach Helicopter, H-1 Medical Helicopter, and A-10 Thunderbolt Attach Aircraft.

The historic aircraft had flown in the morning and were set up for static display by the time I got there. There were P-51 mustang fighters, a Japanese Zero, P-38 Lightnings, B-24 Hudson and B-25 Liberator Bombers, and several Navy aircraft I did not get to.

All in all, it was a good show. If you really had to have your car there, parking was provided, but there were busses every 15 minutes to several parking lots. There were several watering stations and the food and beverages were reasonably priced (about half what you would pay at a ball game). The organizers (I assume it was the USAF) were also efficient in their security. There were military police from every branch along with the local police. They only searched about every 5th car and they had enough metal detectors so that the entrance lines never slowed down.

What made this air show especially nice is that my teenage son accompanied me. Just the two of us, make spur of the moment decisions as to where to go and what to look at. In addition to the fine company and the excellent entertainment, it was also my birthday. I can write this up as a good day. If you ever have the chance to go to one of these shows, I would definitely recommend it. Even if you do not especially like air planes, you should take a chance to see where a large amount of tax dollars are being spent.

It’s late August, and the Pittsburgh Pirates have clinched another losing season – the 18th year in a row that they’ll wind up with more losses than wins.  At the time that I’m writing this, their record stands at 43-89, and they are strong contenders to be awarded the top pick in the 2011 draft (given to the team with the worst overall record).  The Pirates are a team with a rich history – Honus Wagner, Roberto Clemente, Willie Stargell – and it saddens me to see them turn into a mere shell of a baseball team.  The Pirates have gone the direction of putting the cheapest possible team on the field, trading away any player with even a modicum of talent.  This strategy has yielded the expected results.

If you dig down a bit, things start to get a bit more interesting.  The Pirates are 46 games below .500 for the season, but their home record is a relatively respectable 30-36.  That’s not great, but it’s not awful, either.  While most teams play a bit better at home, the home/road differential of the Pirates is quite astounding.  In contrast to their respectable home record, their road record is just 13-48 – a winning percentage that is just above 20%.  This year’s record is an exaggeration of the trend in recent years – the Pirates have largely tread water at home and gotten killed on the road.

The Pirates have an overall winning record against just 4 teams this year.  They are 4-3 against my Rockies, 4-2 against the Phillies, and 2-1 against the Indians.  The fourth team against which the Pirates have a winning record are the division rival Chicago Cubs.  The Pirates have gone 9-3 against the Cubs, given up just 31 runs in those 12 games – an average of just 2.58 runs per game.

I know quite a few Cubs fans, and this is a source of great embarrassment for them.  The Cubs are having a very disappointing year overall, but nobody should lose 75% of their games to the Pirates.  Not only have the Pirates had great success against the Cubs at home, they have also had their number within the friendly confines of Wrigley Field – holding a 4-2 record in Chicago’s home park.  The Pirates set their road-high of 10 runs scored against the Cubs, and also recorded one of their two road shutouts against Chicago. 

To put this in perspective, let’s take a closer look at the rest of the Pirates road wins.  They have two wins against the Rockies, two against the Brewers, and single wins against the Diamondbacks, Reds, Dodgers, Phillies, and Giants.  That’s it.  If you disregard the games against the Cubs, the Pirates are just 9-46 on the road – a winning percentage of just 16.4%.  Their wins against the Cubs account for fully 30% of their road wins.

When the Nationals decided to call up Stephen Strasburg, his first game was “coincidentally” against the Pirates.  Or, more likely, an astute baseball move to boost the confidence of Strasburg with an easy win.  After all, even the lowly Nationals were strong favorites to win at home against the Pirates.

I look forward to the day when the Pirates franchise once again becomes relevant, rather than a laughingstock.  I’m not a fan of the team, but their current state is bad for baseball.  In the meanwhile, I urge you to go to the ballpark the next time your team faces the Pirates.  There’s an 84% chance your team will win – unless your team is the Cubs.

Editor’s note: my friend Lazy Man’s ongoing battles with MonaVie distributors was the inspiration for this story.  However, the companies, products, and people in this story are all fictional.  Keep fighting the good fight, Lazy!

Marco Pariso took a gulp of juice and settled into his rather uncomfortable chair in front of his rather ugly desk. The chair, the desk, and even the juice were absurdly expensive – pretentious products marketed to those with more money than sense.

Marco was faced with a serious problem. After several years of strong revenue growth, his company was facing a sharp decline. In this economy, fewer people were wanting to shell out $18 for a bottle of juice – even juice as fruitfully delicious as Panacea.

Even Marco was not immune from the downturn. This week, he had been forced to downgrade hair stylists to a bum who charged only $200. As he ran his fingers through his hair, he could feel the cheapness of the cut – how his hair longed for Rafael’s artistry.

Marco had decided to forestall the declining sales by ramping up marketing efforts. Panacea had always been marketed as having “more vitamins than you can find in nature.” Now the juice was being promoted as fighting swine flu, cancer, polio, and even AIDS.

Marco knew better than to have the company make official claims regarding these alleged health benefits. He had engaged the top distributors and suggested they start spreading the word unofficially by sending the information down the pyramid. Before long, thousands of Panacea distributors were claiming that the product could cure nearly every disease known to man. Because Marco had been smart enough to avoid putting these claims in black and white, he was confident that he would be able to keep the FDA at bay.

Sales had picked up for a while. Then those nosy internet bloggers began to take aim at Panacea. They claimed that Marco’s company was spreading lies about the health benefits of the drink. Marco had initially ignored the bloggers – merely annoying little gnats. Before long, he realized that some of these clowns had thousands of people reading their tripe every day. People were actually taking them seriously. When Marco looked at the sales figures, he could see a small, by noticeable drop in sales.

Marco decided to pick on the top blogger, Caped Crusader, in hopes that once the Crusader had been squashed, the rest of the bloggers would fall like dominos. Marco had his people publish fake studies all over the internet and had dozens of Panaceas distributors go to Caped Crusaders site and quote these fictional studies as the basis for Panacea’s health claims.

Crusader was a bit more clever than he had expected. He posted details about the visitors in order to show that all of the negative comments were coming from just a handful of geographical locations. He then went even a step further, showing that the sites which presented the studies had all been created in the same week and were all registered to the same organization.

Marco had been foiled again. Marco did not enjoy being foiled, and he began to plan his next move. Caped Crusader must be stopped – but how? Physical violence was distasteful to Marco, and so he pondered the ways that he could tie up Caped Crusader in court. A libel suit, for sure – and perhaps copyright infringement. He laughed as he made a mental note for his legal team to send out a cease and desist letter in the morning. That would scare the little shit. Crusader was probably some wimpy teenager living in his mom’s basement.

Out of the corner of his eye, Marco noticed a light in the distance. Within a few minutes, the light got much brighter. He went to the window and peered out. What he saw shook Marco to his core. The villagers were marching upon his mansion. The torches shed enough light that he could make out the faces of some of his former customers – and he noticed that they were carrying pitchforks.

I know what you’re thinking.  “Where can I find more stuff by Kosmo?”  I’ve caught myself asking the same question.

As it turns out, I’ve actually been featured as a guest writer on quite a few other sites.  Here’s a comprehensive list.  

40Tech (Technology, allegedly for the 40+ crowd, but relevant to anyone)

• Apple To The Core
• Is Google A Monopoly?
• The Long Road to Kindle Success

Lazy Man and Money (Personal finance)

• How To Lose a Customer in Three Easy Calls (TV Guide)
• The Tax Collector (fiction)
• Social Security’s Death Clock Ticks Faster This Year
• Planning for the End of Days

Life, Laughs, and Lemmings (Triumph of the spirit – currently on hiatus)

• Write On (My struggle to keep my focus on writing)

Living With Balls (Sports, and, well, yeah, double entendre is intentional)

• Why I Hate the Yankees

Man vs. Debt

• Debt Comes Calling (Fiction)

ProBlogger (For the professional blogger)

• Anatomy of a Multi-Author Blog

The Centsible Life (Personal finance)

• Nothing Comes Between Me and My Wranglers

The Digerati Life (Personal finance)

Fun stuff:

• Why Should I Tip?
• Cancel My Subscription
• Donate Your Body to a Body Farm
• How to Save Money on Haircuts
• Lessons from Stieg Larsson’s Estate Battle

I also do freelance articles for Digerati Life on more mainsteam topics.  Pop over the the site and check it out.

World’s Strongest Librarian (Hard to categorize)

• Sharpening the Saw (Keeping my writing skills fresh)
• What’s Harder to Write – a Novel or a Short Story?
• Book Review: Gone by Jonathan Kellerman
• Book Review: Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson

Editor’s note – I’d like to welcome the visitors from The Centsible Life.  If you want to get a good feel for what The Soap Boxers is all about, check out the archives.  We have more than 600 articles to choose from, on a wide range of topics.  Thanks for visiting.  Now, I’ll turn over the show to Squeaky, one of our political writers.  ~Kosmo

Barack Obama was elected as US President on November 4, 2008.  He was inaugurated on January 20, 2009.  For many people, that is a day that few will forget.  For many it’s as significant as the day that Reagan was shot, the day that the space shuttle Challenger exploded, the day we invaded Iraq and the day Saddam Hussein was captured.

For me, I keep thinking of the dates November 6, 2012 and January 20, 2013.  I hope that those dates will be equally as significant for me.  Why do I think of those dates?  November 6^th is the date of the next presidential election and January 20^th is the date that the next president will be inaugurated.  As a Libertarian/Conservative, I’m in political exile right now.  I don’t even know who will be running in the next election, but I hope for nearly anyone other than BO.  Would I like Hillary in the seat of President?  No, but she couldn’t do as much damage as BO. 

On January 25, 2010 Diane Sawyer’s interview with BO aired.  Here is a quote from BO:

“You know, I — I would say that when I — the one thing I’m clear about is that I’d rather be a really good one-term president than a mediocre two-term president. And I — and I believe that.”

I would tend to agree with BO.  I’d rather see him be a good one-term president too.  Hell, I’d just be happy if he were a good president.  Here are some of the items he has done that have rubbed me wrong:

1.  Healthcare reform.  It seems more like dismantling what is existing and putting the rest of it under his own thumb….more power, more pork, more government.
2. Cap and Trade.  Push the oil jobs out of the US; raise the price of electricity by forcing them off of coal burning.  We are experiencing a large electricity price increase already in Colorado because of this.  Two of my neighbors working in the oil/gas industry have moved to Canada to keep their jobs.
3. Employee Free Choice Act – Union garbage (IMO of course).  This takes away the anonymous vote on whether to unionize or not.  No pressure from the unions.
4. Auto maker bailout.  I should say government buy out of the auto makers.  After the last year I will buy a Ford as my next vehicle just because they were sustainable on their own.
5. FSA changes.  January 2011 over the counter (OTC) meds will no longer be able to be claimed on your FSA/HSA if you have one.  This will now be for prescription drugs only.
6. Tax increases.  No one making under $200,000/year will not pay a dime more in Federal Taxes. According to the Joint Committee on Taxation (part of Congress), that is a lie.
   • Breath Tax –  If you breath you MUST have medical insurance
   • Tax on Medical Devices – Medical devices will become a tax windfall for Obama’s money vats creating an additional $20 Billion in tax revenue.
   • Brand name drugs – prices will go up on these due to a new tax on non-generic drugs.  You thought those ADHD meds were expensive before, just wait.
   • Tax bases – The tax base for EVERY income range will increase at least 3%. (10% goes to 15%, 25% to 28%, 28% to 31%, 33% to 36% and 35% to 39.6%).
   • The marriage penalty tax is coming back.  A married couple making $75,000 will pay more in taxes than a single person making $75,000.
   • Capital Gains taxes increase from 15% to 20% and Dividends will increase from 15% to 39.6%.
   • Education – The deduction for tuition and fees is being eliminated.  Student loan interest is also not going to be deductible.
7. Love for the Unions.  On August 4, 2010 Obama thanked “all my brothers and sisters in the AFL-CIO” who have worked so hard to help get America’s economy back on track. (http://bit.ly/9PKmv1)  I understand American Pride and Made In the USA.  I don’t understand the need for unions though.  They have truly outlasted their usefulness and only do two things:  1. Increase the cost of producing items by inflating wages to the point of being ridiculous and 2. Encouraging mediocrity. That is what happens when every single worker gets the same pay raise regardless of performance. I prefer to stand on my own feet and let my work product determine what kind of pay increase I will receive.
8. Amnesty for illegal immigrants.  Maybe it’s the cold-hearted police officer in me, but how can we simply let 11-18 MILLION people that are here ILLEGALLY stay?  I was raised to obey the laws and not intentionally break them.  If I broke the laws or the rules I would pay the price.  There was not a simple, “That’s ok Squeaky, let’s reward you for hitting your sister by giving you ice cream”.  That is exactly what we’re preparing to do with the talk of amnesty.  The difference is that the ice cream will become free health care, college tuition, unemployment, etc.  I work with several people that moved here from India.  They have invested a great deal of time and money to become LEGAL citizens.  L-E-G-A-L.  I’m very proud of them for that and I’m happy to call them my friends.  Those that are illegal have no sympathy from me.

I could go on forever, but my soap box isn’t that comfortable.  For now, I keep hoping and praying that Obama will make some non-liberal decisions; but I’m not holding my breath.  I don’t know Obama so I can’t say that he is a good man or a bad man.  The only thing I have to judge him on are his political ideals.  He and I are polar opposites in that regard and for that reason I will probably never appreciate his work.  Like some of you, I’ll keep waiting for “change” on January 20, 2013.  For others, you will be hoping for a successful reelection bid for Obama.  Regardless, on November 6, 2012 I’ll be clinging to my religion, my family and my guns.  On that day I will vote my conservative, Christian, family values and that will NOT include a vote for Obama.

Squeaky…

Image source: http://iusbvision.wordpress.com/2010/05/25/voted-obama-embarrassed-yet-street-signs/

Editor’s note: This is Johnny’s 50th article for The Soap Boxers.  He has been with us longer than any other writer (myself excluded).  I’d like to thank Johnny for all of his hard work and look forward to seeing him write his 100th, 500th, and 1000th article for us!  I’ll leave it to you to figure out why the site is crediting Johnny with 51 articles instead of 50 🙂

With football right around the corner, (and Johnny’s Picks on deck for next week)  today I make some predictions for the 2010 Football Season

Biggest NFL Team disappointment – Minnesota Vikings –  Anything short of a super bowl appearance for the Purple and Gold will be a disappointment, and they are not going to get there.  While they do have a great defense, their offensive line struggles too much at times, their schedule is tough, the division is catching up, and Favre simply cannot replicate his numbers from last year.  Playoff team, likely yes, Super bowl champs?????  Sorry Vike fans.

Biggest Surprise of the NFL Season – I think will be Vince Young.  He is 26-13 all time as a starter, was 8-2 last year with only losses as a starter being to the Colts and the Patriots.  It is no secret that every team they play will put eight guys in the box trying to stop Chris Johnson, this should leave Vince many opportunities for one on one coverage and a chance to have a much better year than

The first starting QB to get benched – Matt Leinart-  The Cardinals will miss Kurt Warner more than Tom Brady misses the Norelco … He has never seemed prepared at this level, has Derek Anderson staring down his back, and no longer has Anquan Boldin.  Sounds like a lot of double teams to me and a lot of time on your back side for this former Heisman Trophy Winner.

Team most flying under the radar this year – Baltimore Ravens.  They get significant offense upgrades with signing Boldin another year of experience of Ray Rice, and Joe Flacco looks poised to have a breakout year.  All that coupled with a still good, but aging defense makes me believe they will make another playoff run.  Why is no one talking about these guys at all?

Biggest Drama I wish would end … Albert Haynesworth.  Ok … we get it already, you are overweight, you don’t like to practice, and you now have a coach that will call you out at every excuse you make.  This is worse than watching the Jersey Shore.  Another smart move signing a guy for the Redskins and way overpaying a problem child on and off the field.  The Redskins are quickly turning into the new look Oakland Raiders.  Island of misfit toys and guys past their prime.  Should be an interesting year in D.C.

Get your pencils sharp for next week with the first installment of Johnny’s picks!

Editorial notes: I hope that you read everything in The Soap Boxers, but if you are only interested in politics or fiction, we’re now providing RSS feeds of just those categories.  You can choose to receive just the articles from The Political Observers (Squeaky, Zarberg, The Crunchy Conservative, and The Angry Squirrel) or just the original fiction that appears in Fiction Friday.  Go to the Subscribe page for more details. 

I’ve tweaked the looked and feel of the site a bit.  The author pages, search results page, and a few other pages have been modified so that they look more like the main page.  Previously, they just displayed rather plain-looking excerpts.  I finally found the nefarious code that was interfering with my HTML tables.  Consequently, the tables will now have some padding around the text.  Hooray!

And now on to today’s article …

Rod Blagojevich, former Illinois Governor and reality television star, as well as recently minted convicted felon, was a star attraction at the Wizard World Chicago Comic Con over the weekend.  In what I can only describe as “the investment opportunity of the century”, attendees could get Blago’s autograph for a mere $50 and could pose with the former governor for just $80.  The smart investor knows that the window of opportunity for these investments is quickly closing – especially for the photos.  Before long, it’s going to be difficult to pose for a photo with Blago without making a trip to a prison.  By the end of the year, I expect these autographs to be selling for … well, whatever the going rate is for kindling in December.

I can understand that Blago had his fans when running for governor, and that many of his backers wouldn’t immediately desert him when allegations started unfolding.  However, we have clearly reached the point where it would be prudent to jump ship.  In this country, everyone is innocent until proven guilty.  However, the evidence really does seem to be stacked against Blago.  I could understand people proclaiming his innocence if the case rested merely on testimony from witnesses – witnesses have been known to lie on occasion.  That’s not the situation, though.  The prosecution has audio tapes of Blago plotting his various schemes.  It seems rather unlikely that he’s a victim in this case.

I collect sports memorabilia, so it would be hypocritical for me to criticize someone for paying for an autograph of a politician.  If politics is your thing, go crazy and buy some autographs … but perhaps you’d want to set the bar a bit higher?  You could probably get the autograph of a non-felon governor for less.  Seriously, look at this from an analytical perspective – do you really think your autograph will be worth more than $50 in ten, twenty, or thirty years?

The ego of Blago never fails to astound me.  Certainly every successful politician has a relatively large ego.  Even the most humble governor still feels that they are the best person to govern an entire state.  Blago takes this to another level entirely.  While many in his situation would hunker down with lawyers to plot a strategy, Blago has been making every effort to ensure that his name stays in the limelight.  He has been on two reality shows and has made the rounds with talk show hosts, including Oprah Winfrey.  Now, this latest appearance, in an obvious money grab?  Whenever I think that my opinion of Blago has reached an all-time low, he grabs a shovel and keep digging.  Bear in mind that I’m not a Republican bashing a Democrat.  I’m a somewhat left-leaning unaffiliated voter bashing a buffoon.  Neither party holds a monopoly on idiocy – there seems to be plenty to go around.

On the positive side, this sort of behavior surely won’t help him when a judge decides his sentence.  I expect a conviction when Blago is re-tried.  Hopefully this means that he’ll be behind bars – and out of the limelight – for a long time.

Note to my RSS and email subscribers: an unfinished version of this slipped out a few days ago, so this is going to appear to be a duplicate article. My apologies.

In recent months, I am often having urges to re-read books that I read long ago – or pick up a copy of a contemporary classic that I’ve missed along the way. So I’m taking a short break from my typical diet of mystery novels to indulge myself a bit. Here are some of the books I will be reading.

To Kill a Mockingbird – I don’t remember exactly when or why I first read Harper Lee’s classic, but Mockingbird is probably the first book I read that had a substantial impact on my life. The message of tolerance and to avoid judgment without the facts really hit home – and I hope has formed a foundation for my life. At some point, I know that I had two copies of the book, but I managed to lose them over the years. I have a tendency to lend books pretty freely, and it’s likely that the copies are in someone else’s collection now (hey, whoever has them – enjoy!). I recently bought a hardcover copy of the 50th anniversary edition and am reading it now for the first time in nearly 20 years.

Catcher in the Rye – I have never read J.D. Salinger’s classic.  In fact, if it wasn’t for the connection to the movie Field of Dreams (in the book, the angry 60’s author is Salinger) I probably wouldn’t have picked up a copy.  But now that I have a copy, I should really give it a read, especially with the passing of Salinger to that great rye field in the sky.

The Day of the Jackal – This book probably wouldn’t make most people’s list of classic, but it was one of my earliest introductions to suspense novels.  The protagonist in the novel takes the job of assassinating French leader Charles DeGaulle.  I originally read this in a Reader’s Digest condensed collection, and I wonder what I missed by reading the abridged edition.  I recently snagged a copy for six bucks at Barnes & Noble and it’s on my must-read list.

Fahrenheit 451 – Until recently, I really wasn’t very familiar with the subject of this book.  I picked up an audio version at the library and really liked it.  The main character in the story is a professional book burner – it now illegal to possess books.  His wife lives in a fantasy world surrounded by electronic screens that immerse a person in the lives of soap opera-like dramas.  Abandoning the learning opportunities of books in favor of the cheap thrills of reality TV?  That could NEVER happen …

The Thirteenth Trick – Another gem that I first read in a Reader’s Digest condensed volume.  The novel is based in England and features a paraplegic archer who trades barbs with a detective investigating the murders of several young women.  I’m betting that the abridgement left out a lot of the story.  This is by far the least famous book I’m going to mention in this article – but it’s a very entertaining read.

The Fountainhead – I have been reading this book since 1992 – at a glacial pace.  Time to jump back into the life and times of Howard Roark again.  When I finish, I can grab Atlas Shrugged.  I’ve been waiting to finish Fountainhead before starting Atlas.  These books explain Ayn Rand’s philosophy of objectivism and are pretty heavy reading – but I hate to stop reading a book halfway through.  (I haven’t stopped, I’m just enjoying an intermission.)  Note – I’m not attempting to promote objectivisim, I’m simply trying to finish reading the books …

War and Peace – Maybe.  I probably won’t get to it in this cycle of reading (and probably won’t finish the Ayn Rand novels either), but I’ll put it on my to-do list.  I tend to like novels that teach me some history, and I suspect that I would learn an awful lot about Russian history by reading War and Peace.

I have most of these books, but will need to pick up copies of Fahrenheit 451 and War And Peace at some point.  I’m thinking of setting up reading cycles for my lifetime, with goals of reading certain books at age 35 (now), another set of books at age 40, etc.

If you are interested in buying any of these books, I have provided links below.  Yes, I’ll make a small commission if you buy one of the books (this does not increase the price you pay).

So, what are YOU reading these days?

To Kill a Mockingbird
Catcher in the Rye
The Day of the Jackal
Fahrenheit 451
The Thirteenth Trick
The Fountainhead / Atlas Shrugged (Boxed set)
War and Peace

After thirty years on the job, Ronald Jensen was stepping down as the head sommelier at Greenwich Gardens.  The Gardens, as the restaurant was widely known, was a favorite hot spot of the upper class.  A hamburger, if someone would even consider ordering something so common, would cost about as much as a working person’s weekly grocery bill.

For decades, Ronald had been serving wine to the elite snobs who frequented the place.  Most of the time, he ended up giving recommendations to the clueless nouveau riche.  Many of these clowns didn’t even know whether to order red or white wine with a meal.  Ronald was paid a livable wage for his work, and the tips allowed him to indulge a few of his hobbies and build a nest egg for retirement.

Ronald knew that he was luckier than some of the other employees at Greenwich Gardens.  While he was treated as a second class citizen by the wealthy patrons, most of the other staff was treated like dirt, as if they weren’t even human.  This had been the sad reality when the classes were forced together within the confines of the restaurant.  The working class served the rich, and the rich looked down their noses at the workers.

Ronald thought ahead, to his life after retirement.  He was moving away from the city, back near his old home town.  He had bought a modest cabin near the lake and would spend his golden years carving duck decoys and catching up on his reading.  He wouldn’t live an extravagant life, but he’d get by.

He heard laughter coming from a table near the back and glanced at the group.  They were kids in their 20s who had never worked a day in their life, and never would.  Trust fund kids with millions in the bank and nothing in their heads.  They spent their days dining on lobster and foie gras and enjoying the best wines in the world.  They had done nothing to earn their station in life.  There was truly no justice in this world.

Ronald smiled at that thought that justice would eventually be served.  Those who live by the sword, die by the sword.  Likewise, those who cruise through life eating, drinking, and being merry would also have these vices become their downfall.  The wine cellar at Greenwich Gardens had also been home to some of the most valuable and rare vintages of wine.  Indeed, a few dozen of the bottles currently in the cellar were very special indeed.

Ronald knew that it would be at least a year or so before the first of the special bottles was uncorked.  He wondered how many patrons would die before anyone thought to look at Greenwich Gardens as a source of the poison.  While the poison was quite lethal, it was also slow acting.  It could take a few days before the victims felt any symptoms.  With any luck, Ronald’s special vintage would continue to kill people quietly.  Just one victim every year or so, stretching out his silent legacy for decades.