The SoapBoxers

I may be considered “The Crunchy Conservative” but I also consider myself a feminist. NOT a femi-nazi, but a feminist. I believe in what is best for women and we should be treated equally. That being said, I believe in what is best for ALL women, born and in utero. I guess that’s where the conservative part comes in (and being raised and a practicing Catholic). I believe the feminist movement allows women to make their own decisions (unless it hinders the life of another, like in the case of abortion). If a woman chooses to work outside of the home, great. If she chooses to stay at home and raise the children, that’s great too.

I intended this column to be about the mosque mess, but the reason I bring this up is it’s been 90 years since women were given the right to vote. 90 years. And we have yet to have a female President or even Vice President. That’s a shame. However, I recall in second grade telling my teacher I wanted to be someone that “even the dumb kid in the back of the class got right on a history test.” The first female President. I had dreams … and maybe it could still come true. After all, Sarah Palin was a work at home mom for years … she wasn’t an attorney or corporation owner. Crunchy Conservative for President in 2020?

Anyway, the mosque mess. Our great country was founded on freedom of religion. A freedom to believe and practice wherever one pleases. However, I do believe it is distasteful to build a mosque next to Ground Zero. VERY distasteful. Do they have the right to build it there? Sure. Should they? No. That ground is sacred to the family members in the planes, in the towers and the firefighters who gave their lives saving others. Building a mosque, the religion that the terrorists “were following” right next to Ground Zero would only cause more issues.

I’ve never been to New York but I know New Yorkers. They’ll take it upon themselves to make sure this doesn’t happen. If it does, it won’t last long. New Yorkers won’t stand for it. And neither should other Americans. We all recall how we felt on September 11th. The terrorists took our towers from us but they should not build a mosque next to Ground Zero. Worship where you will, but not on sacred land.

Around the office, I’m know as a guy who generally has a smile on his face, but am not widely regarded as a practical joker.  This made the setup for this practical joke even better.  I have been a remote worker for several years, with most of my team at another location out of state (where I previously worked).  This out-of-sight, out-of-mind aspect also aided in my escapade.

The whole thing started when I heard about a co-worker get a bit agitated when someone accused him of being a graduate of the University of Colorado.  He is actually a proud graduate of Colorado STATE University.  This is a completely separate – and in his eyes, superior – institution of higher learning.

Shortly after Christmas one year, I spotted a University of Colorado window sticker on sale for 99 cents.  I sent it to an accomplice that placed it on his desk.  Shortly afterward, I bought a small toy buffalo and had the accomplice place this on the victim’s desk when he was away.  Ralphie the Buffalo is the mascot for the University of Colorado (which, again, is NOT this person’s alma mater).

At this point, I had the idea the next phase of the practical joke.  I would have Ralphie the Buffalo’s girlfriends send him notes from all around the country.

I asked a friend of mine in Colorado to pick up some buffalo themed postcards.  She wasn’t able to find any, but provided something even better – she took some nice photos at a buffalo ranch.  She also wrangled up some card stock which allowed me to insert photos and create an instant buffalo-themed greeting card.  At this point, I’ll admit to a bit of deception.  I needed to tread lightly in case she was also a CSU grad (and thus might not be very amused by this) and was vague about the reason why I needed buffalo post cards.

Once I had the cards in hand, I needed to line up writers.  I lined up a few women in the office in order to give the writing a nice feminine look (my own handwriting is nearly illegible).  Many loving notes were written to Ralphie.  Cards that featured photos of baby buffalo made mention of children missing their daddy.  Other photos were included for comic relief – such as ones with photos that included large mounds of buffalo poop.

So now I had the stockpile of cards.  I couldn’t simply send them from the post office.  The postmark would point the finger at me.  I happened to be in a simulation baseball league (the best league ever) with 32 people spread out across the US and Canada.  I enlisted the aid of many of these individuals.  Some of them were even kind enough to take drop off cards while they were on overseas trips.  I engaged the service of a few other friends in remote locations as well.  Over the span of several months, the cards slowly drifted in, with nothing to point back to me as the culprit.

Finally, at long last, I admitted that I was responsible for this lengthy, well-coordinated prank 🙂  If my memory is correct, this would have been about 15 months after the start of the activities.  Suffice it to say that patience was a key skill in pulling this off.

Things went from bad to worse for Mets closer Francisco (K-Rod) Rodriguez.  Last Wednesday night, he got into a fight with his girlfriend’s father at the Mets’ ballpark after a game with the Rockies.  K-Rod was arrested and charged with assault and harassment.  It turns out that Rodriguez also tore a thumb ligament in his pitching hand.  Apparently, he didn’t follow the advice of Crash Davis to never punch someone with your pitching hand.  Rumors are swirling that the Mets are considering voiding his contract.  K-Rod was scheduled to earn $11.5 million in 2011 and has a vesting option of $17.5 million for 2012, with a $3.5 million buyout.  It is very unlikely that the vesting option will vest now.

Voiding the contract is easier said than done, though.  If the Mets void his contract, the MLB Players Association could file a grievance on behalf of Rodriguez.  Back in 2004, the Rockies terminated the contract of pitcher Denny Neagle on grounds that he violated the morals clause of the contract.  Neagle had been charged with soliciting a prostitute.  Neagle was pulled over for speeding and a cop got a little curious about why his pants were undone.  Neagle’s companion told the cop exactly why his pants were down, and exactly how much it had cost ($40).  Neagle filed a grievance and ended up reaching a settlement roughly equivalent to the amount remaining on his contract.  If the Rockies couldn’t win a grievance against Neagle, the Mets probably won’t win one against K-Rod.

Yesterday was the signing deadline for most Major League draftees.  The exceptions are college seniors and those playing in independent leagues.  The top pick, 17 year old Bryce Harper, signed a deal with guarantees him $9.9 million.  This is quite a bit less than the $15 million Stephen Strasburg got last year, but it’s also likely that Harper will need at least a few years of minor league ball before making the jump to the majors, whereas Strasburg made a near-immediate jump to the Nationals.  Thus, the Nationals will be getting minimal major league production from the signing bonus. 

Notable players who did not sign were Barrett Loux (#6, Arizona),  Karsten Whitson (#9, San Diego), and Dylan Covey (#14, Milwaukee).  Loux is a college junior who will be draft eligible again next year.  Whitson and Covey are high school kids who will be eligible again after their junior year of college (assuming that they don’t transfer to a JUCO at some point to accelerate their draft eligibility).  The three affected teams will receive a pick in the 2011 that is one slot below their pick in the 2010 pick (but if they fail to sign the player taken with the compensatory pick).  Considering that the 2011 draft is considered to be a very deep draft, the Diamondbacks, Padres, and Brewers probably aren’t shedding a lot of tears.

The Rockies signed their first round pick, Clemson quarterback Kyle Parker.  Parker was a junior in baseball eligibility, but a was freshman in football eligibility last fall.  You’re probably wondering how this is possible – I certainly was intrigued.  Parker graduated a semester early from high school and played baseball as a freshman in the Spring of 2008.  He then redshirted in football in the fall.  He was a baseball sophomore in spring 2009 and a football redshirt freshman in the fall.  He was a junior in baseball this spring and will be a football sophomore in the fall.  Parker signed a $1.4 million deal with the Rockies, but the team is allowing him to continue his football career.  This is somewhat unusual, but not exactly rare.

I don’t typically follow SEC football, but I’ll definitely be taking an interest in the health of the Clemson offensive line.  Keep the defense away from the QB, guys.

What should we do about the federal budget?

Over the last few weeks, there have been several articles about federal spending on this page.  Squeaky had an article about waste and Zarberg wrote about the magnitude of the defense budget among other things.  I wrote responses to both articles, not particularly well written responses.  In this article I will attempt to only address the fiscal issue of the budget and not try to apply a justification aspect.

My basic comment is “STOP SPENDING”.  When I look at what our government has done over the past 50 years, I see the same pattern regardless of the party of the President or the composition of the Congress.  Each year, there seems to be a push to buy the votes of a specific part of the population.  In each effort, we see the budget exceed the income except for a few years in the lat 1990’s (and I would contend that this was actually accounting slight of hand).

Right now, today, we have an enormous deficit.  To remedy this, our government is spending more money.  When you or I are faced with such a short fall, we generally do not think “SPENDING FRENZY”, instead we cut back on the things that would be nice to have, we replan the things we need in the long run and we concentrate on what is most important today.  I will give some personal examples.

I would like to actually go on a vacation.  I want to update my kitchen.  I need to replace the windows and doors in my house.  I need to cut down 4 trees that are too close to my house and are damaging it.  Right now and for the next 8 years, I need to help my kids through college.  Each month, I need to pay for food, mortgage, gasoline, insurance and clothing.  That pretty much sums up my expenses since I have paid off my car.

I could get a second mortgage on the house and pay for the kids’ college.  I could take a third mortgage to pay for the rest.  But what do I do when my car wears out?  I will have spent all of my income and all of my credit.  Instead, the windows and trees will have to wait.  The vacation, along with the kitchen, are not even in the plan.  Right now, today, I am keeping the family housed, clothed and fed while the kids attend college.

Our government, like many people, just gets more credit and more loans.  The latest version of this is the plan to make it easier for small businesses to get loans, not help them get out of debt, mind you, but to get further into debt.

I know we need a military, but really, do we need the G.I. Joe with the Kung-Fu grip?  Yes, health care costs are getting high, but do we need to pay for everyone’s prescriptions?  Yes we have several industries that have been mismanaged and are failing, but does our government have to throw money down that drain as well?  And to make matters worse, there is no real way to understand what is actually happening unless you spend hours reading the congressional record and the Wall Street Journal and listening to the BBC, since the rest of the American media has become a headline buffet with lots of calories but no nutritional value.

Here is an example to cover both my rant on spending and the lack of reporting.  Late last week, Fox news reported that 2 democratic Senators held a session and passed a 600 million dollar package to fund border security.  The headline would make you think that there were no rules and the spending was out of control.  A more in depth report was published in the Wall Street Journal describing the unusual event.  It turns out that the Senate had already passed the bill by an overwhelming majority (there are in fact rules but the spending is still out of control), but since it had a funding section, it had to have been passed by the House first.  Since the votes were out of order, to save time and money, two senators returned to Washington D.C. from their recess to clean up the paper work.  It just turned out to be 2 democrats; there was not evil plot after all.

Regardless of how many times it is said and who says it, you cannot spend yourself out of debt.  What our government need to do (and I blame our congress for failing to do this, both parties) is to sort through all of the programs and prioritize.  They have to live within a budget just like everyone else.  Sure each of us will complain when our pet program gets a reduction or is deferred to later years, but there has to be some effort.  This will take time and a lot of negotiating, but that is what we hire our Senators and Representatives to do.  Besides that, we need to stop blaming the President.  He suggests actions through policy statements, but he cannot initiate a singe piece of legislation as President (although this President could have started every one of his programs two years ago when he was in the Senate).

Write your congressman.  Let them know what you want, fear, think.  They want and need to know.  If he or she consistently fails to meet your expectations, then you protest by voting.  If you do not get involved, then only the lobbyists will have their ears.

My basic philosophy is fiscal conservatism.  I believe that if you reduce spending and reduce the amount of money the federal government needs, the economy will grow and the federal government will get more money for the things that are really necessary.  At the very least, only spend what you can afford.  In either case, I get back to my original rant; STOP SPENDING!

A while ago, I was discussing my short story One Man’s Dream with Bob Inferapels.  I made the comment that the dream-within-a-dream-within-a-dream concept was inspired by a quote from Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi (Chuang Zu).  A short, loose translation of the quote is this: “Last night I dreamed I was a butterfly.  Now I do not know if I am a man who dreams he is a butterfly or a butterfly who dreams he is a man.”

Understandably, Bob’s response to this was “What kind of sh*t are you into?”  And buried behind that question was the unspoken one – “… and how did a farm kid from Iowa get to the point where he is pondering quotes from Chinese philosophers?”

I’m actually not a student of philosophy, per se.  I own hundreds of books, including substantial collections of crime and baseball related volumes, but just a single philosophy book.  That sole book is Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, which I finally purchased after seeing it mentioned in a sports article for the millionth time.

While I don’t necessarily study philosophy, I do stop to ponder interesting quotes that present themselves to me.  In the case of  Zhuangzi, I wonder what exactly is “reality.”  Our perception of reality is based largely on our memories and the accounts given to us by others – but how accurate are these accounts?  We see cases where people repress memories and other situations where stimuli can cause people to create completely false memories.  And how much does our own personal lens distort our view of everyday events?  What, exactly, makes an event a piece of genuine reality?

Another of my favorites is from Nietzsche’s The Abyss – “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.”  This quote is actually the inspiration for the title of FBI profiler Robert K Ressler’s book Whoever Fights Monsters.  In Ressler’s situation, he was dealing with many serial killers who were the embodiment or pure evil.  If was important for those who tracked the killers to not be consumed by the evil themselves.

Most of us, of course, will never have the opportunity to track down serial killers.  Most of us will, however, encounter people who engage in the spreading of hatred in its many forms.  If you hate those that spread the hatred, you are yourself adding to the hatred in the world.  In other words, my advice is to hate the bigotry, not the bigot – as difficult as this may be in many cases.

One of my very favorite quotes lacks the deepness of the others –  “Luck is the residue of design.”  It is commonly attributed to baseball pioneer Branch Rickey, but actually originated from writer John Milton.  Rickey, not surprisingly, recognized a great quote when he saw one, and started using it.  The gist of this quote is easy to determine – “good luck” doesn’t happen randomly, but is often a results of years of preparation.  In other words, many cases of “overnight success” were really due to a decade of hard work.

The next time you see a quote – be it in a book, magazine article, or even someone’s email signature – stop to consider it.  That doesn’t necessarily mean to blindly follow what the quote espouses, of course.  In the words of Aristotle,  “It is the mark of an educated man to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.“

When I discuss the differences between short stories and novels, the stark contract in setting scenes tends to come front and center.  I have launched Tip of The Iceberg and Other Stories, and have also sent in my submission to the Iowa Short Story Award.  I’ll continue to write short stories every friday, but a major focus in the next 3-6 months will be renewing focus on my novel, Casting Stones.

I’ll definitely need to alter my mindset and spend more time focusing on the details of a scene.  Today’s article is really more for my benefit than for yours.  The scene I am delving into could be covered in a single sentence in a short story – Kirsten spent the afternoon reading Moby Dick and ate a turkey sandwich for dinner. I’m going to take this one sentence and expand it into several hundred words that will allow you to gain greater insights into the characters and the scene.  Honestly, it’s not a very action-packed scene – and therein lies the challenge.

Warning: nothing of any importance happens in this scene – it is merely a writing exercise.

Kirsten

The daily assault of the sun’s gentle rays had long ago caused the curtains to fade from virgin white to a yellowed tint.  It was late afternoon, and the rays peeked through the window once again and flooded the living room in a gentle glow.

Kirsten sat down the glass of iced tea and took a seat in the antique rocking chair.  As it squeaked in response to the rocking, she opened the cover of a dog-eared copy of Moby Dick.  She stopped for a moment to ponder the first line – “Call me Ishmael.”  She found this to be an interesting name.  She had never actually known anyone named Ishmael.  She remembered Ismael Valdez with the Dodgers and remembered that her dad had mentioned Rocket Ismail returning kicks for Notre Dame.  But never an Ishmael.

Kirsten pushed her glasses back up on her nose and delved deeper into the protagonist of Melville’s classic.  A few of her friends were school teachers, and many of them held summer jobs – working retail, carpentry, and on farms.  Kirsten couldn’t imagine any of them spending time on a whaling ship.  Ishmael certainly had an adventurous spirit.

Kirsten was fully engrossed in the adventures of adventures of Ishmael, Ahab, and Queequeg when she suddenly realized that the room had grown dark.  It had been several hours since she had begun reading, and her stomach began to cry out in agony.  She rose from the rocking chair, slipped on her shoes and began her pursuit of dinner.

Kirsten’s scarlet stilettos drummed out a melodic series of clicks as she strode purposefully across the hardwood floor. When she arrived at the mahogany table in the dining room, she flipped the switch on the ancient lamp. The compact fluorescent bulb fluttered for a short moment before realizing its full potential and bathing the room in light.

Kirsten reached above her head and opened the cupboard door.  One of the screws from the hinge fell to the counter top with a clatter.  Kirsten sighed.  She loved the old house, including the beautiful glass-front cupboards, but it seemed that one thing or another was constantly in need of maintenance.  She grabbed a screw driver from the junk drawer, slid the foot stool into place, and fastened the screw.  She opened and closed the door several times, assuring herself that the screw was tightly in place.

Kirsten took a dinner plate from the lower shelf and had to step on her tip toes to grab a glass from the top shelf.  She wondered why she hadn’t gotten one down while she had been on the step stool.  Some of the features of this house were certainly not built for someone as petite as Kirsten.

To her great delight, she discovered that the breadbox still held a single croissant.  She thanked her lucky stars that she wouldn’t have to settle for the bland alternative of whole wheat bread.

When Kirsten ducked her head inside the refrigerator, she was disappointed to see that Sam had eaten the last of the ham.  She stuck out her tongue and resigned herself to turkey.  She was happy to see that Sam had at least left a single slice of Swiss cheese behind.  She inhaled the aroma of the cheese.  Kirsten could be frugal with many of her purchases, but not with cheese.  The difference in flavor between a high grade of Swiss cheese and a bargain basement substitute was incalculable.

Kirsten grabbed the carton of milk from the bottom shelf and filled the glass nearly to the brim.  She replaced the carton, closed the refrigerator door, and carried the plate and glass to the table.

She took a long drink of the milk before taking a big bite from the sandwich.  The house was quiet, except for the faraway sounds of crickets chirping and the occasional creak as the house continued the century long process of settling onto the foundation.  Kirsten missed Sam when he was traveling on business, but she didn’t miss the ever-present blare of the television set that plague the house when he was around.

Officer Graham Watkins grabbed the stale coffee, tossed the paper cup into the metal basket in the corner of the room, and turned to face the witness.  He plopped down a fresh cup of brew in front of him and took a seat.

“Good morning, Mr. Mills,” he started, reading the name from the page in front of him, “We believe that you may have information pertinent to an ongoing criminal investigation.  We – “

The other man cut off Watkins in mid sentence.  “I confess, I killed her.  Lock me up.”  Spencer Mills buried his head in his hands and began to weep uncontrollably.

The rookie officer was fortunate that Mills wasn’t able to see him as Watkins’ jaw dropped completely to the floor.  What the hell?  This was supposed to be a cookie cutter interview regarding an embezzlement case against one of Mills’ co-workers.  Now we were talking about murder.  Watkins hadn’t the slightest clue what killing Mills might be talking about.

Watkins wondered if it might be best to get a more seasoned investigator into the room to finish the interview.  Watkins decided against it, preferring to strike while the iron was hot.  By the time he tracked down a detective, Mills might stop talking.  Better to keep the ball rolling.

“Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Mills.  Your confession will undoubtedly bring some closure to the family of the victim.  Before I go further, I should advise you that you have certain rights.”  Watkins pulled out his pocket copy of the Miranda rights and made sure that he recited them clearly and correctly.

“Now, do I understand that you wish to waive these rights and speak freely about this crime?”

Mills wiped tears from his face and nodded in agreement.

Watkins pulled a sheet of paper from one of the folders in front of him.  “This form is a waiver of your Miranda rights.  If you wish to waive your rights, read this carefully and then sign and date the form at the bottom.”  Watkins uncapped his pen and handed it to Mills.  Mills gave the document a cursory glance before scribbling his signature.

Watkins breathed more easily.  Sometimes the mere mention of Miranda could make criminals think twice about confessing.  He had cleared the first hurdle.

Typically, the interrogator has most of the pieces of the puzzle and needs just a few details from the perpetrator in order to complete the picture.  In this case, the situation was completely flipped.  Watkins had just a couple of pieces and needed to extract the other 498 from Mills.  He decided to get the ball rolling with an open ended question.

“Why did you do it?”

“I just got tired of waiting, you know?  I picked her up at a bar near the stadium.    Alex Brady had a good game, and we won, so everyone was in a pretty good mood.  Afterward, we went back to my place.  I just wanted to get in her pants, but she wanted to watch the Bombers game.  So we’re watching the stupid Bombers game.  The whole time, I’m just thinking about sex, but she keeps talking about baseball.  She just won’t shut up, you know?  Finally, she’s yammering on about the DH, and I just snapped.”

Watkins took a long sip of coffee from his cup.  He needed to tread very lightly.  It was critical to avoid tipping off Mills to the fact that he had absolutely no idea what murder Mills was confessing to.  Asking for the name of the victim was sure to make Mills clam up.  He decided on an indirect approach, hoping that useful information would spill out.

“This is my first murder case,” admitted Watkins.  “I’ve always wondered – what does it feel like?”

Mills grinned back at the rookie.  “It was the ultimate high, copper.  Like the perfect trip.  Better than blow, better than ice.  Feeling her neck snap was the best feeling I’ve ever experienced.”

Want to know what comes next?  It’ll cost you!

As you know, the vast majority of the content on The Soap Boxers is free.  A couple of times each year, I bundle up the fiction stories that have accumulated since the last publication, add in a bonus story, and tie them up in a nice bundle and attach a price tag.

How much will it cost you?  Well, you have 3 purchasing options:

• The 96 page PDF Tip of the Iceberg and Other Stories.  The PDF contains 31 stories consisting of about 27,000 words.  I’m pricing this at 15 cents per story – $4.65 for the collection.
• The title story is also available as an audio book with a run time of about 28 minutes.  Your cost is $1.99.  Note that this is just the one story, not all 31.
• You can also purchase the combo pack that contains the PDF as well as the audio book.  Normally the price is  $5.79 – but for the next two weeks, you can get it for $4.65.  That’s the same price as the PDF, so you might as well buy the combo pack.

You can find these products and many others, at the Hyrax Publications store.  I hope you think the pricing is fair and will buy a copy to support an independent writer.

As an added bonus, the first three people to buy the combo pack will receive a free copy of The Cell Window combo pack.  If you are one of the first three people, I will try to notify you within 24 hours.  If you aren’t among the first three, you can still get a good deal on The Cell Window Combo Pack – it’s currently on sale for just $3.65.

I will also allow you to share any product with a friend.  In reality, there’s very little I can do to prevent you from sharely freely, other than rely in the honor system.  However, in this case, you can share with a friend with no guilt whatsoever.  All I ask is that you tell the friend about The Soap Boxers.

Thank you for your continued support.

Our country has been involved in quite a few wars in the last 100 years.  World War I seemed to be more or less justified, although some can claim that we timed things just right to place ourselves as the heroes riding in to save the day.  Diplomatic mistakes and overbearing surrender conditions created the perfect conditions for Hitler’s rise to power.  That lead us to World War II.  World War II was certainly justified.  Regardless of the overwhelming public sentiment in 1939 to remain neutral, the atrocities of the Nazis had to be stopped and probably wouldn’t have been stopped without American intervention. 

I won’t argue the pros and cons of the two biggst post-WWII wars, Vietnam and Korea here but it is hard to argue against the statement that they weren’t as “justified” as World War II.  During WWII, the massive industrial effort of the United States combined with the near absolute destruction of the German and Japanese industrial infrastructure set up the US to be a dominant industrial power for at least the next few decades.  American cars rolled off the lines.  American military products became the rage in nearly every country to field an army.  American companies were on a roll from the post-war boom.  A new industry practically exploded in size – defense contractors. 

War is a huge industry.  It can be easily argued that World War II was precisely what this country needed to get us out of the great depression.  World War II quickly blended into the cold war which saw active conflicts such as the Korean War, The Vietnam War, The invasion of Grenada, the invasion of Panama and many other smaller military actions.  Except for a few years in the 70’s and the 2000s (when the George W. Bush administration didn’t include the 2 wars on the budget) the percentage of US discretionary spending on military matters has been over 50%.  We have bridges falling, a sub-par electrical infrastructure, and weak public transit compared to nearly every other industrialized nation on the planet and yet we’re spending half our optional money on the military.  Diseases still run unchecked, half our population is overweight, and yet we currently have a navy that’s bigger than the next 13 navies combined – and 11 of those 13 are considered allies.  Consider that the US Navy has dramatically decreased in size since the 80’s, too.

What’s a bigger threat to the US – a massive, coordinated attack on our information infrastructure or a massive, coordinated attack by troops, planes, and ships?  War should always be the last possible option, yet major political decisions are made every day to spend money on war before spending money on citizens.

The F22 program is a perfect example of how the defense industry has a stranglehold on US politics.  Originally designed as a successor to the aging F15 fighter, the F22 won a competition between two massive teams of defense contractors.  In addition, the final product is a joint venture between dozens of different companies, with major components designed and manufactured in dozens of different states and countries.  When it was proven that the F22 was far too expensive for the results it produced, this “shotgun” style approach to manufacturing almost gave it a too-big-to-fail style argument against killing it.  The defense industry didn’t even need lobbyists in this case; almost every politician with a stake in the program argued to keep it active, despite the massive bill it was ringing up with proven flaws and extra expenses.

It might be a painful transition, but it’s time to start thinking about better peacetime expenditures.  F22s, aircraft carriers, and tanks are not going to stop terrorists.  A healthy, smart, well-equipped population with transparency in defense lobbying will be the best deterrent of all as we move forward in this new century.

The PGA Championship starts this Thursday at Whistling Straits at Kohler, Wisconsin. This is the second time this great course has hosted a PGA Championship, the last one seeing the Big Fijian, Vijay Singh victorious in a playoff over Chris Dimarco and Justin Leonard.

Whistling Straits is an interesting course, it is a little bit of links style golf in the always links golf thought of state of Wisconsin. Premium is placed on putting your ball in play off the tee, so the winner this week will likely be among the leaders in the field in driving accuracy.

Tiger Woods has no chance to win this week. None, zip, zero, nada. The soon to be former world number one player is … in the words of Joe Willie Namath … struggaaaaliiiing …. Tiger cannot keep it on the golf course, frankly looked completely disinterested last week and now goes into a course that requires you to hit shots to certain spots on each hole. This sounds like appetite to miss the cut if you ask me.

Phil Mickelson, aka Flopsy McChokenstein, showed again last week why we love to get our fill of Phil. Just when it looks like he is poised to make a move, win a big tourney and take over the #1 spot, he goes out and fires a smooth 78 hitting it all over the park and looks completely lost. As only Phil can do in a presser, he indicates he really is close and expects big things this week. Links style courses have not be Phil’s forte, so we shall see what transpires.

Here are Goodman’s Picks for the week in no particular order

• Justin Leonard, has had success here before, played well last week, good driver of the ball. I like this combination
• Jeff Overton , about as consistent as they come over the last few weeks, has been a top 10 machine, so why not again
• Ernie Els, Mr. “What about me” Ernie has fallen out of contention for a few years but has played great this year and leads in Fed Ex Cup points
• Retief Goosen, only a triple bogey to start his third round sidetracked him last week, he finished 3 back, and if the putter gets going on tricky greens…..we have seen it before
• Rory McIlroy, the kid is about due to throw out another great performance, why not this week.

As always I hope the wind blows thirty five, the rough is six feet tall and the ground hard as a runway. I love watching the best have a tough time of it.

When Matt Holliday was traded away from the Rockies, I thought that perhaps the “product of Coors Field” factor was gone for good.  When Holliday was with the Rockies, he always had dramatic home/road splits, but his road numbers lagging far behind his home numbers.  Many observers missed a few things:

1)  While Holliday’s road OPS was lower than his home OPS, it nonetheless rose steadily over the years
2)  Holliday’s home/road differential dwarfed that of any other player on the Rockies. Doesn’t a high tide lift all boats?

Personally, I came to have the belief that Holliday would always outperform the home/road differentials of his teammates, regardless of which park he called home.  While there is no doubt that Coors Field was a factor, I felt that an equally strong factor was Holliday’s approach at home.  For whatever reasons, he was simply more comfortable at home than he was on the road.  Holliday put up strong evidence in favor of this in 2009 and 2010 – posting an OPS 150 points higher at home in 2009 and 90 points higher in 2010. 

Gonzalez replaced Holliday in left field and seems to have inherited his penchant for huge home/road splits – in spite of the fact that he hits from the opposite side of the plate and has a lot more speed than Holliday.  Let’s take a closer look at Gonzalez this year:

Home: .375 BA. 19 homers, 1.144 OPS
Road: .282 BA, 6 HR, .732 OPS

That’s a home/road split of .412 – it was around a .500 point differential before CarGo’s strong weekend series in Pittsburgh.  League wide, players post an OPS of about .030 better at home.  So it’s Coors, right?  The team does have a healthy +.185 at home.  But Gonzalez’s numbers skew this dramatically, since his stats are included in the team stats.  Throw him out and the team has about a +.140 differential, meaning that CarGo’s differential is 3 times that of the rest of the team.

Let’s take a quick look at differentials of CarGo’s teammates. I’m setting the cutoff point at 250 plate appearances.

CA Miguel Olivio (Righty): +.473 (310 PAs)
OF Seth Smith (Lefty): +.376 (287 PAs)
OF Dexter Fowler (Switch): +.359 (303 PAs)
RF Brad Hawpe (Lefty): +.373 (289 PAs)

{Oddly, nobody in this gap of .300 points}

2B Clint Barmes (Righty): +.070 (375 PAs)
OF Ryan Spilborghs (Righty): +.007 (259 PAs)
SS Troy Tulowitzki (Righty): -.025 (319 PAs)
1B Todd Helton (Lefty): -0.101 (305 PAs)
3B Ian Stewart (Lefty): -.104 (325 PAs)

What do we see? Lots of players with strong positive splits and some with negative splits (which isn’t really what you would expect with Coors Field. Clearly, the small sample size comes into play. Let’s take a look at some of the players who have thrived at Coors.

Miguel Olivio: This is Olivio’s first year with the Rockies, so there’s not a large track record to draw from. What jumps out at me is the fact that Olivio has a .485 BABIP at home and a .233 BABIP on the road. This statistic – measuring the batting average on balls that are into play (excluding strikeouts and home runs) is generally about .300 league wide. Some hitters have a higher BABIP than others, but most are in the .270 – .330 range. Coors boosts BABIP a bit, due to the large outfield, but a .485 BABIP is absurd – as is the .233 road BABIP. Is this the reason for Gonzalez’s differential? Nope – his road BABIP is actually higher than his home BABIP. And as a side note, watching for Miggy’s numbers to slide late in the seasons – the .485 is not sustainable (nor is the .233, but there’s more downside to the home stats than there is upside to the road stats.)

Seth Smith – A nearly 100 point BABIP differential again explains away most of Smith’s home/road split. Smith does have a +.281 OPS for his career, albeit with a relatively small sample size (805 career plate appearances).

Dexter Fowler – Chalk up a big chunk of this differential to a 7 game stretch from July 1 through July 8 during which Dex hit .500 with a homer, 3 doubles, and 4 triples – good for a 1.622 OPS. These were Fowler’s first game at home following a demotion to AAA, and I suspect that he was trying to show that he belonged in the majors. Again, Fowler is a young player without a lot of time in the majors.

OK, the veteran Brad Hapwe. This proves that Coors is friendly to lefthanded power hitters, right? Well, except for the fact that over the course of his career, Hawpe’s home OPS is just .052 higher at home – 2010 is simply an outlier.

While we’re on the topic of career splits, here are the splits for other Rockies who have played at least a few seasons as a starters (the Rockies have a very young team).

Todd Helton: +.205
Clint Barmes: +.178
Troy Tulowitzki: +.103

At this point, it should be pretty clear that Coors Field doesn’t push an OPS 400 points higher.  For Gonzalez, I’m going to assume that either:

1)  2010 is a fluke and future years will have a smaller differential
2)  He will have Holliday-esque split in future years – hopefully with  a Holliday-esque rise in road OPS each year

Some interesting notes:

• Gonzalez rarely walks (19 for the year) but has nearly 3 times as many walks at home vs. road (14 vs. 5).  As a whole, the Rockies walk about the same amount at home vs. road.
• Carlos has a high home run rate against pitchers who are groundball pitchers than pitchers who are flyball pitchers or have an average FB/GB mix.  That’s a bit weird, since groundball pitches tend to keep the ball down.
• Gonzalez is doing better against left handed pitchers than against righties.  In general, lefty hitters struggle mightily against lefty pitchers.

The takeaway from this?  Gonzalez is a hell of a player at age 24.  He has a few years to play before he gets to his physical peak (age 27) and should get even better.  Hopefully he begins to hit better away from Coors – but even if he doesn’t, there’s a ton of value in a guy who can post a 1.144 OPS in half his games.  Those sort of numbers help you win a lot of games.