The SoapBoxers

A continuation of last year’s letter to Virginia

Dear Virginia,

You may be wondering if there really is an Obama Claus. You have been promised so much but think you haven’t seen any of it. Silly, Virginia. You should know better.

I know you were hoping that “Obama would pay your gas and mortgage.”  But your house is in foreclosure. You haven’t had to make a house payment in months though, right?

I know that you traded in your paid off car only for a car payment you couldn’t afford. But you have a nice car, right? Or has it been repossessed?

I know that you were hoping for health care for all … but have only seen your insurance rates go up and your favorite doctor has decided to retire. But you’ll see that it will be better. After all, we know better than you do.

Oh, Virginia. You hoped that the Government would come to your aid quickly after the horrible BP oil spill, only to find yourself with mounting bills and paperwork and paperwork, only to get a percentage of what you were promised. But it’s all BP’s fault. And all of that off shore drilling. Hey, let’s blame Sarah Palin … yeah. That’s it.

And taxes? Yes, Virginia. Unless Obama and crew pass the Bush tax cuts extension, you will find less in your paycheck and less at tax time. I know you were promised more take home, but Obama Claus needs that money. Besides, it’s all that horrible Bush’s fault for giving you more of your money in the first place.

It’s those crazy Tea Partiers. Yeah, that’s it. Those crazy people who didn’t like the way things were going got out and voted. Now nothing will get done for you, Virginia. People just didn’t give Obama Claus enough time to fix all of the things that the evil Bush messed up. It’s not Obama Claus’ fault. It’s the Tea Partiers.

You silly, silly girl. Don’t listen to Fox News. Keep the faith with Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow. THEY know what is right for you. Just like Obama Claus. And remember, it’s all Bush’s fault.

Virginia, don’t you know that Obama Claus is highly educated? He attended Harvard, therefore is a billion times smarter than you. Don’t you know that? Of course you don’t. You should consider it enough for Christmas that such a wonderful, educated, African American is in charge. So rather than doubting what he’s promised, just be thankful he’s in there.

Much attention has been given to Dave Ramsey’s method for reducing debt.  The gist is that you pay off the smallest debts first, then use this money toward the smallest remaining debt, until a snowball effect takes place, zooming you out of debt in no time.  This is a simplified version, but I’ll focus on this core idea today.

From a pure dollars and cents perspective, this doesn’t make logical sense.  You should instead pay off the debts that are at the highest interest rate – this will save you money in the long run.  If you have the discipline to pay off debts in this manner, it’s a no-brainer to do it this way.

So, then, why does Dave Ramsey have some many followers?  Because many people get frustrated with their inability to make a sizeable dent in their debt.  If they have $3500 car loan at 0.9% and a $15,000 credit card loan at 18.9%, they pay off the car loan because it’s a quick win.  For many people, emotion trumps logic.

Wouldn’t it be great if people were somehow able to inject emotion into the logical approach?  I’m going to introduce a method that I call The Ramsey Backflip.  The method attempts to take the strengths of the Ramsey approach (emotional victories) and inject it into the more financial advantageous method of paying off the high rate debts first.

The first step in the process is to name your debts.  Give the highest interest rate an unpleasant name (Merkleton McWarty, for example) and the lowest interest rate a more pleasant name (Princess).  Then, assign actual physical characteristics to the debts.  You might choose to personify the lowest interest rate debt after Scarlett Johansson (if you are a guy) or Tom Cruise (if you are female).  Likewise, choose negative characteristics for the highest interest rate debts – for example, you might pick Tom Cruise, if you are a guy.  (I’m kidding, Tom Cruise.  I’m sure you’re a great guy.  The rest of us are just jealous).

Now you should have a band of imaginary debt-friends.  OK, they aren’t real friends, because they are mooches.  It’s like the movie You, Me, and Dupree.  You invited the house guests, but you really need to show them the door – and fast.

If you have several house guests and need to kick one out, whom do you kick out?  The boring, ugly guy with bad breath.  Merkleton McWarty.  Find a nice big photo of Merkleton McWarty (or the person you use for the mental image of Merkleton) and waste some ink and paper by printing it out.  Every time you make a payment against Merkleton (that credit card debt of $15,000 at 18.9%), put a sticker on top of Merkleton’s ugly mug.  By the time you finish with Merkleton, he’s nothing but a page of stickers.

When the first debt is gone, repeat the process with the ugliest remaining houseguest.  As you work through the debts, the photos get progressively more attractive.  At the end, you’re left with Scarlett Johansson – the $3500 car loan at 0.9%.  When you get to that point in your debt repayment process, it might not even make sense to pay off the loan early – you may instead choose to invest in something that can beat the 0.9% rate.

Is this a bit immature?  Certainly.  However, I urge you to try to find your own path – a way that you can convince yourself, emotionally, that it is in your best interests to pay off those higher interest debts first.  Make it a game if you must.  Your wallet will thank you.

The coaching carousel is in full swing. Dave Wannstedt figured out what Nebraska Cornhusker fans figured out a long time ago … Steve Pederson is not the guy you want to work for … and he left Pittsburgh. Smiley Jones, the Athletic Director at Pitt, now may go after another former Husker Coach, Jay Norvell, to come and save his day in Pittsburgh.

Miami fired their head coach, Randy Shannon, and are bringing in new blood to coach the hurrigangsters, although the fair weather fans at “the U” want a more thuggish image for the program, a return to the glory days if you will.

Urb hangs it up at Florida. Once again citing health issues. This guy is turning into the Brett Favre of coaches. I am retiring….wait I am not retiring, no – – really now I am retiring. We will see how long this one lasts. I predict 2-3 years at the most.

A number of other coaches are on the hot seat. Rich Rodriguez at Michigan, where they can find guys that remind fans of Appalachian State type of players that beat the Wolverines in the big house just a few years ago. Michigan however, has seemingly forgotten that you also have to play defense when your offense is on the field. It will be interesting to see what happens if Big Blue loses the bowl game.

Ron Zook at Illinois seems to be on the watch list every year for coaches that are on the way out the door. Truth is at Illinois you are going to have a bunch of around .500 seasons and that is likely as good as it is going to get. Zook got run out of Florida and then Urb won with what was essentially his recruited talent. Illinois is young again, so we will see how this plays out.

Texas … oh my beloved Longhorns. From National Title game to TV watching this December and January. First your offensive coordinator conveniently resigns … hmmmmmm … Then the defensive coordinator that your school has been seriously overpaying to keep him on staff as the heir apparent “coach in waiting” leaves to take over for Urb at Florida. Mack must be spiraling into a pit of despair. The only National title this guy has won was with arguably the best dual threat quarterback in the history of college football, and even he could not screw that up, make you wonder how such high recruiting classes every year have lead to exactly one national title, and now everyone leaving. I smell more big problems in Austin and the eventual collapse of what remains of the Texas…..errrrr….Big XII Conference.

Up next will be the Johnny Goodman bowl game spectacular. Stay tuned.

Last week, my column discussed the cold of the Midwest. I waxed poetic about the joys of winter and how much good comes from a cold spell of weather. Tonight, as I see the forecast for overnight and tomorrow, the poet in me is curling up and pretending to go to the tropics. We expect temperatures to drop to negative eleven before dawn with wind chill of negative thirty. I do believe that this is, in fact, cold enough.

The rural schools are already closing for tomorrow. The reasons range from broken water mains, insufficient heating, and wind chill dangers waiting for the bus. I am very supportive of such preemptory actions; safety of the children should be very high in the priorities of any school. I only wish I was still in school. I am fortunate to have a garage (unheated but still enclosed) so my start should not be that bad. I remember the days of living in an apartment and waiting for the car to warm up while scraping frost and ice from the windows. The coldest part of my day will be the walk in from the parking lot and the trip home at night.

I watched several football games in the comfort of my home. The games in New York and Pittsburgh were cold rain expecting snow later. The game in Chicago was all snow expecting the frigid cold that we are expecting to follow tonight.

Now all of this weather will pass. In the next week it should warm up enough to snow. The kids will like that, but driving in the frigid cold is much easier than driving in snow. I do enjoy the changes (here is the poet coming out again). This bitter cold will only make the warm up sweeter. The snow will be nice for Christmas. The best course for all of us in the path of winter storms is to remain safe. Unless you are properly prepared, stay in doors. Bad weather always provides a good opportunity to write, read, watch old movies and develop relationships. Even though it will be very cold, I will still enjoy it, and I hope you do, too.

I’ve been collecting favorite quotes for a number of years.  Here are some that I enjoy – it’s definitely a motley collection.

“Goof Grief.” – Master Charles Brown

“He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.” – Niezsche

“Last night I dreamed I was a butterfly.  Now I do not know if I am a man who dreams he is a butterfly or a butterfly who dreams he is a man” (paraphrased) – Zhuangzi

“That is what Tiggers do best!” – Tigger

“Luck is the residue of design.” Often attributed to Branch Rickey, but Rickey borrowed it from John Milton

“With proper design, there is no residue.” – George (friend of Kosmo)

“People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.” – Baseball Hall of Famer Rogers Hornsby

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” Attributed to Yogi Berra

“Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s” – Jesus Christ

“Ah.  Hay-SOOS.  I like him very much, but he no help with curve ball.” – Pedro Cerrano

“Oh.  Dog and a beer.” – Terrence Mann, after first mistaking Ray Kinsella’s question of “What do you want” as something existential rather than food-oriented.

“These are not the droids you’re looking for.” Obi-Wan Kenobi

“Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” – Sherlock Holmes

“This is a simple game. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball.” – Skip (Major League)

“My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to DIE.” – Inigo Montoya

and finally:

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Yeah, I’m an Apple fan, but even if I wasn’t, I would love this quote.

This will be my final article for 2010, and I’ve been pretty darn moderate my last few articles so rather than focusing on one specific issue here I’m going to give my opinions on a bunch of different issues that are making news the past few weeks.  I apologize in advance if I get a little too stream-of-consciousness.

Within the past few days it has been announced both that astronomers found an extra-solar system planet that has water vapor and a lifeform that uses arsenic instead of phosphorus for basic life processes.  This opens up the possibility of there being life in a lot more places out there (including outside of Earth) than we thought previously.  I already know the one question on every Republican’s mind:  Are these lifeforms willing to put a hold on everything just to keep an unnessessary tax cut for the richest of the rich?  (and if so let’s spin that to our advantage)

Ok, about that whole tax issue …

I’m going to break into a little comparison here.  Ok, a big comparison.  Pretend that you work for a big company that has a board of directors that chooses the CEO.  For some strange reason a new CEO gets chosen every 4 years and can only be CEO for a total of 8 years.  Anyway, your CEO announces that he’s giving an across-the-board temporary raise to everyone in the company, and he has it done in contract form so everyone knows it’s temporary.  He’s not entirely sure the company can afford it, but what the heck, it’ll raise company morale, right?  Besides that, it’s temporary and he’s set it to expire while on the next CEO’s watch, so even if it is a problem it will be somebody else’s problem.  Some years later there’s a whole lot of water-cooler gossip because those temporary raises are set to expire.  It’s a new CEO now and he’d like to continue the raise for everyone but the absolute top earners in the company, and those top earners have salaries absolutely dwarf yours (we’re talking quite a few magnitudes of order) scream to the point of holding up any plans to continue that raise and it all falls through.  Do you think it’s dishonest to call that temporary raise expiring, with all the circumstances, a pay cut? 

Welcome to the United States of Goldman Sachs.  I just don’t get how extreme right-wingers can act like Bush’s brand of capitalism is fair when everyone but the top 1% starts at a massive disadvantage.  It is a proven fact that one of the worst ways to improve the economy and create jobs is to cut taxes, and one of the best ways is to keep those without jobs on unemployment.  Why?  Virtually 100% of unemployment money is spent (the jobless don’t save, they barely survive) while the super-rich continually invest/save outside of America.

[Editor’s note: for a primer on income distribution in the US, check out this article – How many people make more than $250,000].

Every Republican and even a few Democrats have swallowed the cool-aid, though, and are calling what’s gong on here a tax raise.  Heck, what the taxes are going back up to aren’t even at Reagan tax levels and people were doing just fine, then.  Finally, why is no one pointing out that this is yet another mess Bush created and will have no hand in solving?  I sure didn’t see Republicans screaming about the debt or deficit when he was starting wars and not using correct accounting methods for their costs, and 1 of those wars was started based on information Dick Cheney knew was false.  I bet South Korea is wishing we invaded the real nuclear threat rogue state right about now.

Speaking of the military, I wonder where John McCain will move his goalposts to next.  2006 he said he’d be fine with repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell if the military was ok with it.  In 2008 he said he’d need a thorough study from the Pentagon saying it wouldn’t cause major impact and he’d be ok with it.  Now that the thorough study is out McCain is insulting the head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and our Commander in Chief by saying they don’t really lead military men so this study is invalid.  I bet if by some miracle he had won the presidential election in 2008 he’d say he led troops as Commander in Chief.  Homophobia, like John McCain, is really old.  He froths at the mouth defending positions that not even 50% of Americans want, and then flip-flips on DADT when over 75% of Americans would be OK with gays serving openly.

About Wikileaks …  I’m still not quite sure what to think about Jullian Assange.  It is unclear to me if he is breaking the law or not, or even morally wrong or not.  On the one hand, I understand that government secrets are sometimes a necessary evil but on the other hand I feel like someone has to watch the watchman.  The US Justice Department is going all-out to try and charge him with something, anything – that feels like to me he might just be innocent.  We’re talking about a US espionage service that was able to infect Iranian nuclear processing centrifuges with a virus – and don’t think for a minute that the US didn’t have a hand in it, even if it was just helping Israel do the dirty deed.  If they really had some dirt on Assange, don’t you think they would have him being waterboarded at Quantico right now?

[Editor’s note: check our Squeaky’s article, What should we do about Wikileaks, for more commentary on Wikileaks and Julian Assange.]

Finally, I’d like to give a big middle finger to political correctness and say Merry Chrismas, Happy Hanukkah, and a joyful whatever else you celebrate.  Most of what we celebrate these days has Pagan roots anyway, and it’s all capitalistic.  I wish the world would stop being so greedy and just learn to love their fellow man.

You’ve seen the ads.  Sparks by Kosmo – Web consulting with a twist.  What the heck does that mean?

Although our little site at The Soap Boxers is still a relatively undiscovered diamond in the rough that is the blogosphere, I can, with confidence, claim to have one unique specialty.

My mind is not bound by the constraints that tend to hamper most people.  Most people operate with a filter that weeds out the bizarre ideas before they actually have a chance to live at all.  Not the case with me.  I say to those ideas “be fruitful and multiply!”  Honestly, if I didn’t have a day job in a conservative industry, I’d probably commonly be referred to as “a bit eccentric”.

Introduce people to a variety of unusual ideas, and you will expand their horizons to encompass a broad range of possibilities.  While the original ideas themselves may not be a final answer, they may open up a line of thought that leads to other ideas which are eventually implemented.

To that end, I am announcing a service that will allow you to bottle a little bit of Kosmo.  Few can doubt that my creativity factory churns out some unique stuff (don’t believe me?  Check out short stories like Second Chances and The Critic) – why not work with web site owners to come up with new ideas to help improve their sites?

This will certainly not be your grandfather’s brand of web consulting.  There will be no chatter about click-through rates, search engine optimizations, and load times.  The focus will simply be on making the site more interesting and useful for your visitors, pushing the envelope beyond what you do today.

I’m going to start out with two different levels of service.

The first, affectionately nicknamed “I hate your website because …” will be a quick look-see at your site, with an email from me pointing out the aspects of the site that I disliked the most.  Most often, these are going to be tactical things, although I’ll throw in an outside-the-box idea when possible.

The second level will be a more in-depth look at the site.  For a small retainer, I’ll give you two quick tips on how to improve your site, plus a quote on how much I would change for a full review.  At the end of a full review, you will receive a formal report (between 500 and 3000+ words) detailing suggested changes.  Bear in mind that I have no prior knowledge of your site or your audience, so I don’t know what “won’t work”.  Odds are good that several of my ideas will be things that “won’t work”.  Given a chance, I bet that some of those ideas actually WILL work.  And if they don’t work, you just blame it on the crazy consultant!

I can’t guarantee that you’ll be a BETTER person after working with me –  but you’ll certainly be a DIFFERENT person.

I lined up a lucky sucker customer to give Sparks a try.  You may know her as Silicon Valley Blogger from The Digerati Life.  Honestly, she’s probably not in my target audience.  Not only has she spent much time refining her site over the years and has a strong sense of the direction she is heading, but I am also a frequent reader.  This means that it will be difficult to truly look upon her site as a blank slate.  The report I gave to SVB ended up being on the more basic side of the spectrum.  What could Kosmo come up with the improve one of the most popular personal finance sites on the web?

Here are a couple of sample suggestions

Navigation bar links to outdated information – The most current deal in the Special Deals section is from July, and the most recent online coupon is from May. You need to decide if these are important enough to take up prime real estate on the navigation bar, or if they are so unimportant that they can go a half-year between updates. These are mutually exclusive categories.

Recent articles – If a new visitor stumbles across your site, they aren’t able to determine what you have been writing about recently. Consider using a “recent articles” plug-in in a sidebar to draw their attention to your recent activity.

Another client was Mommy’s Recess.  This is a newer site that has only been up for a few months – so I was able to put together a more detailed report.  This is the type of client who can probably gain the most from Sparks.

Here are some nuggets from the detailed report:

Who’s your daddy? – Obviously, your site is centered on the perspective of a mother. Every once in a while (perhaps once a month), why not have a guest article that comes from a different perspective? Have a father write something about the joys of fatherhood – or a grandmother, teacher, or even the owner of a store that specializes in children’s clothing or merchandise?

Go ask mother – Get your readers more involved with an advice column. You may need to prime the pump at first – getting some questions from friends and family in the “real world”, but before long, you’ll be getting questions from your site visitors.

Recalls – Consider covering the important topic of manufacturer recalls once a month. Although the Consumer Product Safety Commission provides this information on their web site, not every checks the site. Also, you may choose to go explain the importance of some of the recalls.

Sarah and Emma had this to say about Sparks:

We received a great review from Kosmo. As stay at home moms working on a blog, we know diapers and kids but not internet.

Not only did he give us tips on colors and links, but he gave us content ideas that will give the blog a fresh look and ideas!

Hop over the Sparks today for some introductory pricing.

The Chicago White Sox signed free agent Adam Dunn to a 4 year deal worth $14 million per year.  The deal will allow Dunn to play his best defensive position – DH.  All kidding aside, I like this deal for the White Sox.   Dunn brings tremendous power, belting at least 38 homers in seven consecutive seasons.  He also walks quite a lot, transforming his lackluster .250 career batting average into a stellar .381 career on base percentage.

The knock on Dunn, of course, is his ability to strike out. He has struck out at least 164 times in every season in which he has accumulated at least 400 at bats.  That’s a huge number of strikeouts.  Unfortunately, it gets more attention than it deserves.  It would be great if he could cut down the strikeouts and hit .275 instead of .250, but the fact of the matter is that strikeouts aren’t much worse than other outs – a .250 hitter who strikes out a ton isn’t much worse than a .250 hitter who strikes out half as much.

Interesting tidbit that casual fans might not know about Dunn – he was once a backup quarterback at the University of Texas.

On the other side of the sock drawer, the crimson hose traded for Padres first baseman Adrian Gonazalez.  Gonzalez is a player who would be one of the most underrated players in the game, if not for media attention that has focused on how underrated he is (oh sweet irony!).  In spite of playing in a park that depresses offensive numbers for hitters, Gonazlez has emerged as one of the leading power hitters in the game – hitting 30+ home runs in each of the past four seasons.  A switch to hitter-friendly Fenway Park should certainly boost his offensive stats.  Gonzalez is also a two time Gold Glove award winner for his defensive play.

I do urge people to take one thing into account with Gonzalez.  While his career road numbers are much better than his career home numbers (.943 OPS vs .800 OPS), this isn’t entirely the effect of Petco Park.  Due to baseball’s unbalanced schedule, Gonzalez has played a disproportionate number of road games in Colorado and Arizona – home to two of the best hitter’s parks in baseball.  This will have a tendency to prop up his road stats a bit.  It’s dangerous to use raw road stats when making comparisons.  My article on park effects is also applicable to this discussion.

Derek Jeter and the Yankees finally called off their game of chicken, with Jeter signing a deal that will pay him $51 million over the next three years, with a complex points-based player option for the 2014 season.  This is much more money than Jeter is really worth at this stage in his career (most players tend to see their skills erode as his age – a sad fact of growing older) but is much less than the $23 million per year that Jeter was reportedly seeking.

On the gridiron, the Denver Broncos bucked Josh McDaniels from his saddle.  McDaniels took over the reigns at the beginning on the 2009 season.  He quickly jettisoned a digruntled Jay Cutler (hey, would YOU be gruntled if there were rumors that the new coach was trying to acquire Matt Cassel to replace you?) and replacing him with Kyle Orton.  J-Mac roared out to a 6-0 start, and many glasses of Coors were held aloft to toast the genius.

The bottom fell out quickly.  The 2009 Broncos lost four straight games after their undefeated start and finished 8-8.  In 2010, the Broncos stand at 3-9 and also found themselves embroiled a controversy involved the unauthorized videotaping of an opponent’s practice session.

Garrison Keillor once wrote that in Minnesota, people do not complain about the cold. You see, everyone can feel it, so why complain. I do not quite live in Minnesota, and my wife is a southern girl, so there is plenty of complaining in my house. I personally like the cold, all of the bugs die and you have a reason to stay snug in your house with a fire on the hearth and hot cocoa in your mug.

Today will be cold across most of the nation, with temperatures even tumbling in Texas and Florida. I live about 250 miles straight west of Chicago. We expect morning temperatures to be near single digits, with a wind chill near zero all day (Fahrenheit not Celsius). Although I sometimes walk to work, tomorrow will not be one of those days. I will, however, still brave the cold to go to a gym to work out.

I still have a positive attitude about winter. We have had our first snow fall, it was only about two inches and the streets are already cleared. The sky as been clear, so the sun is bright, making the scenery especially nice. This feeling will change by the time February rolls around. Eighty days of cold with increasing cloudiness makes thing dreary. I do not often suffer from cabin fever, but I know a lot of people who do.

The best solution to cold weather is to actually get out in it. Breathe deeply the clean air. Feel the cold penetrate where you have not covered sufficiently. Move around and, after experiencing nature to its fullest, retreat to the comfort of your home or office. A short experience of the harshness of the season will make the comforts that much more delectable.

A couple of years ago, I drove by a construction site about this time of year. It was cold with sleet coming down. I commented that I was glad not to have that job. My teenage son disagreed. What could be better than getting to work outside? Especially when working on something you could point at to say you had built it? I appreciate his enthusiasm. Those men and women do have something to hold on to. I still have my comfortable office, which I still will not trade. Perhaps that kind of enthusiasm wanes with age (and stiffness).

I know that several negative twenty degree days are ahead. We can only hope that they are not consecutive. The local weather forecaster has asked “Is it cold enough for you?” My answer is yes. I am so glad that I live in an age and country with modern conveniences such as central heating. Keep writing and stay warm.

John Scherer could hear the impact of the collision from his seat on the bench.  He knew in an instant that Carson Malone would not return to the game.

“Scherer!” snapped head coach Art Saunders.  But there was no need to bark at him – John had already grabbed a football and was warming up.

When Carson Malone was carried off the field, the crowd grew silent.  The undefeated Tigers were assured of a bowl berth – but a win against the Dragons had the potential of punching their ticket to the national championship game.

The offense that was centered around the golden arm of Carson Malone had sputtered for much of the day, and the Tigers were clinging to a tenuous 17-16 lead against the Dragons.  The Dragons defense was stout against the run, and the only way to beat them was through the arm.  Could the spaghetti-armed Scherer get the ball downfield consistently?  In four years on the team, he had only gotten into a handful of games during garbage time and had done little to impress the coaching staff.

The afternoon sun had begun to descend into the horizon beyond Buck Miller stadium when Scherer broke from the huddle and settled in behind the center.  A moment later, the ball had been snapped and Scherer dropped back into the pocket.  He quickly spotted an open receiver and delivered a quick, tight spiral in the direction of Quentin Snow.  An instant later, he saw a flash of green as Dragons cornerback Carlton Jacobs jumped the route and snatched the ball before it reached Snow.  The All-American defensive back was past Scherer in a second and took the ball to the house without being touched.  The PAT made the score 23-17 in favor of the Dragons.

Quentin Snow returned the ensuing kickoff to the 38 yard line.  John Scherer settled the butterflies in his stomach and summoned the fortitude necessary to lead his team to victory.  A quick toss to Snow gave the Tigers a first down just shy of midfield.  Scherer hit his tight end over the middle for six yards.  A screen pass netted another ten yards.  Quentin Snow slipped past his defender and took the ball to the twenty one yard line.  After a sack, Scherer settled back in and hit tight end Rudolph Mauser at the ten.  A quick strike to Snow in the end zone capped off the scoring drive.

Adrenaline surged though Scherer’s veins as he grabbed some Gatorade and talked to the coaches on the phone.  Man, he had rocked on that drive – six completions in six attempts.  He hadn’t executed a drive that well since middle school.

The quick strike had demoralized the Dragons.  The Tigers defense forced a  three-and-out.  This time, Quentin Snow settled under the punt and called for a fair catch at the thirty yard line.  With a 24-23 lead, the Tigers simply needed to sustain a drive and let the clock run out.

Scherer found Mauser open downfield and the big tight end rumbled toward midfield.  It was a critical first down for the Tigers.  One more first down, and the game would be over.  Coach Saunders was conservative on the next two plays, handing the ball off to tailback Lawrence McGee.  Mac gain four yards on first down, but was thrown back for a two yard loss on second down, as half the Dragons defense converged on him in the backfield.

The ball was at the Tigers 48 yard line.  It was third down, with a long eight yards needed to make the first down and put the game out of reach.  A failure to execute on this play would force the Tigers to punt the ball back to the Dragons.

Scherer took the snap from center and quickly progressed through his reads.  Quentin Snow was double teamed.  Mauser was being covered effectively by a linebacker.  Tailback Lawrence McGee was open in the flat, and Scherer quickly delivered the ball.  McGee stumbled as he approached the ball.  The throw was a bit high, and McGee was only able to get his fingertips on the ball – tipping it into the air.

John Scherer groaned as he saw a flash of green near the ball.  Once again, Carlton Jacobs was in the middle of the play.  Jacobs gathered the ball at the Dragons forty yard line and set sail for pay dirt, sixty yards away.

Quentin Snow was one of the few players in the league who had better speed than Jacobs.  By the time they reach the twenty yard line, they were abreast of each other.  Jacobs made a quick fake, and Snow sailed past him and was out of position.  A moment later, Jacobs raised the ball in celebration as he cruised toward the end zone.

At the last moment, a hand slapped the ball away.  Jacobs quickly tracked the ball down and attempted to corral it … but it eluded his grasp and exited the back of the end zone.

As the official made the signal for a touchback – awarding the ball back to the Tigers at the twenty yard line – John Scherer sat in the end zone catching his breath.