The SoapBoxers

Normally I write a sports article but Kosmo is going that direction a bit today, so I will focus on a more Kosmoesque topic for Tuesday … Customer Service.

My wife and I recently bought a new car. Well somewhat recently. We picked up the car at the dealership on February 21. The negotiation went well, I haggled enough that we were happy with trade in values and all was agreed upon.

Unfortunately the dealership did not have the color of vehicle that my wife really wanted so they made a trade for the color we were looking from a dealership out of state. They were not exactly sure if the features were all exactly the same as they had two in the color we wanted and they were not sure which would show up in the trade they were making. So we negotiated based on the higher priced vehicle.

The day we picked up the vehicle, we were hit by the manufacturers credit guy. Now I work at a place that has a great credit union with fabulous rates. He also kept trying to sell me warranty and maintenance plans. I had to politely explain no fewer than four times that the reason I keep buying this brand of vehicle is the reliability, I have never had any issues with them.  So basically “no I am not interested in spending more money on a warranty plan”.

The dealership had put in a charge for $600 for gas, detail and dealership accessories on the final sales bill. WTF? I asked you if I needed to detail my old car , and you told me “no”.  I am not paying for gas … I just bought a 30K plus vehicle from you and you did not add anything additional on to my car, so what are you trying to pull here?

After 2 ½ hours at the dealership (we had an appointment to pick up the car) we finally got to drive it home. My wife procrastinated a bit and waited until the last day to title the car, pay taxes, and get her plates. When she showed up at the DMV they politely explained that they did not have her title yet from the dealership. When my wife called the dealership (realize she is still at the DMV at this time) the dealership said, “it was lost a couple of weeks ago in the mail, didn’t anyone call you to tell you”.

After some vented frustration, my wife secured a loaner car from the dealership. A week passes. Nothing. She calls the dealership again. “Looks like it might be 2-3 more weeks before we have it as there is a computer problem with the State of Colorado” (which I think was still code name for – we have no idea where it is but we don’t have it yet for you).

This prompted a visit from Johnny Goodman to the dealership. After I expressed my complete dissatisfaction with the lack of communication and ranted and raved for about an hour, the dealership agreed to pay my first month car payment (only after I basically told them they needed to). I was having a real problem making a car payment on a vehicle I could legally not drive due to a mix up at the dealership which was completely their error, not mine.

Another 3 weeks went by and we finally got the title. My wife is now driving the car. I was called the day she picked up the title by our salesman who indicated he just found out about this a week or so ago (completely a lie here – trust me, everyone in the dealership told him I stopped in to talk to him the night I came in to look for getting my car payment made … I did make a HUGE scene that night so I am quite sure I left a lasting impression) and then he had also contacted my wife and I … but only after we had filled out a less than complimentary survey and the results went from their home office back to the dealership. Why would you respond to a bad survey and not even call to inform a customer that their title had been lost? An answer to this question I will never know or understand.

The worst part of this is the dealership is literally a half of a block from my house. When salesman go outside for a smoke break they could wave to me on my deck of my house. They had 5 phone contact numbers for my wife or myself yet chose to not call us until we initiated to them that there was a problem.

Hopefully those that read this will have better experiences than I, or will go the extra mile in their jobs this next week – realizing that sometimes problems develop a life of their own and just get bigger and bigger. All which could usually be solved by simple a phone call. As we get more technological in our world, the verbal or face to face communication suffers and seems to get worse and worse. Unfortunately this dealership has lost my business for good as I will never buy another car from them. And as an added bonus my wife and I have pretty much told anyone who will listen our story of great customer service.

Until Next time … stay classy Performance Toyota of Lincoln.

Mike Leake arrived at the 2010 Cincinnati Reds Spring Training camp in the shadow of another young pitcher. The other pitcher was a Cuban refugee named Aroldis Champman, who could light up the radar gun at 103 miles per hour. Mike Leake was merely the 2009 first round draft pick of the Reds. All he had done in college was rack up 40 wins against 6 losses during his career at Arizona State. He was a third team all-american as a freshman, second team as a sophomore, and first teamer in his junior year before being drafted by the Reds (more about draft eligibility here.)

Chapman was sent to the minors before the season began, but Leake – who, like many top picks, did not play in the minors after the draft – jumped straight to the big leagues. This was an unusual move, since this starts the clock ticking on a player’s arbitration and free agency (more about that here), but Leake had won a job in the Reds rotation.

Leake started the year strong before shoulder fatigue caught up with him at the end of the year (not uncommon in young pitchers). Leake finished the year with an 8-4 record. His spot on the 2011 roster was not a certainty, but injuries to other pitchers opened the door, and once again Leake was in the rotation to start the season. On Saturday, he allowed two runs in six innings against the Pirates and running his season record to 2-0.

Mike Leake’s star was rising.

On Monday, Mike Leake was arrested. He is accused of shoplifting six shirts from Macy’s. Total cost of the six American Rag t-shirts? $59.88 (you can get shirts for less than $10 at Macy’s?). While Leake is in the pre-arbitration phase of his major league service , he’s still making a healthy $425,00 this year (are athletes overpaid?) – and I would hope he still had a few bucks left from the $2.3 million signing bonus he got in 2009.

I really struggle with these types of stories. When Leake become arbitration eligible after the 2012 season, the Reds could raise this as an issue during the hearing. It could very well cost Leake hundreds of thousands of dollars. Already, Leake’s reputation has suffered more than $60 in damage.

Yet, this is not the first incident of a celebrity shoplifting. Why do they do it? I doubt it’s the money. Perhaps some are simply kleptomaniacs, but this mental illness is not that common in the general population, so I doubt that this is often the case with celebrities. Is is for the rush – the extra kick of adrenaline from getting away with the crime? Seriously? Staring down Albert Pujols with the game on the line isn’t enough adrenaline?

Anyone else have any explanations?

This article mentions: American Rag

Continuing the series of articles on creativity in writing, let us concentrate on concentration. When developing any kind of story, it can be exceptionally beneficial to establish a mood. The easiest way to accomplish this without actually putting yourself in the situation you want to write about is through aural stimulus. What we hear can influence what we see. The most common scene of a horror movie is slowly ascending a dark stair case towards a closed door. Without the tension and suspense of the background music, it is just a poorly lit staircase, with it, everyone is on the end of their seats waiting for the shock moment.

The same technique can be used to help you develop your story. If you are at a romantic portion of your story, put on some romantic music. If it is a scene of discovery or combat, classic Wagner can be very inspirational.

Never limit yourself to a single stimulus. You can use scented candles, walk outside, cook something for smells. Dim or add lights, work at night or at high noon, to set the lighting.

Once you have your environment set, how do you maintain your concentration to produce the images and messages that you want? The biggest problem is external interruptions. Make sure that the other inhabitants of your writing area know that you want/need isolation for your creativity. Most people will honor your request for at least a little way. Little ones, if you have them around, find it hard to accept that Mom or Dad just needs to be alone. You will have to limit your time to manageable periods to meet the demands of every day life. Sometimes you can use a vacation day and separate yourself from family commitments for a few hours.

Even if you can achieve isolation, distractions abound. Writer’s block, doldrums, even a stray fly can be a problem. If it hits, take a break. Get away. Even reschedule your writing time. Sometimes you cannot win, but that does not mean that you will be frustrated every time. Once you hit a writing surge, you will be amazed at how many words you can capture. Ideas will spawn new ideas, messages will morph into new messages. Eventually, your creation will emerge. It will be different than your original intent. You may even be changed. Even if you abort your project and move to something else, you will have accomplished something incredible; you will have written something that no one else had written. You will have crated something.

Keep writing.

I’ve long been a champion of traditional paper and ink books.  Among the benefits I always mention is the availability of cheap used book and the low risk of loss.  Ebooks (specifically Kindle) are priced competitively with other new editions of books, but more expensive than a dog-eared copy from a used bookstore (not to mention the feeling of poking around for treasures in a book store).

However, I feel myself tugged a bit in the direction of the Kindle these days.  It all really started when I published my first book of short stories for the Kindle.  Without much work, I could make Mountains, Meadows, and Chasms available to the world – at a price point ($3.49) that made it affordable for nearly anyone, while also netting me a fair commission.  Then there’s the availability of free public domain works.  Getting the classic for free would be a good deal.  Kindle users can also lend books to each other for 14 days – and interesting way to read for free.

I’m not quite convinced yet, but I’m on the fence.  We’ll see what the future holds.  Now, let’s take a look at the various version of the Kindle now available (yes, yes, there will be affiliate links at the end of the article).

Kindle DX – The most expensive Kindle has a 9.7″ screen within WiFi and 3G that works globally.  The downside is the price tag.  $379.  Are you freaking kidding me?  If I’m going to spend that sort of money for an e-reader, I’d pony up a few extra dollars for a 1st generation iPad.  Even the lowest end iPad would give you 16 GB of memory compared to the Kindle’s 4 GB, and the screen is also 9.7″.  Install the free Kindle reader application, and you can use it as a Kindle – but also have the added functionality of a full-function tablet (although you do take a hit in battery life).  So I’ll cross the DX off my list … and also ignore the possibility of an iPad.

Kindle 3G + Wi-Fi – The price tag drops to $189 and the screen size is cut down to 6″ (we’re talking diagonal, so this is half the size of the 9.7″).  Here we come across a $50 question – do I NEED 3G?  Probably not.  It’s extremely rare that I’m outside the range of a WiFi network for an extended period of time – and I could plan in advanced to have a few spare books on the kindle.  Cross this one off the list.

Kindle Wi-Fi –  At $139, this is the first model that’s within the realm of possibility.  Pricey, but worth it?  I’m going to say “no” for now, but revisit the situation if The Soap Boxers starts generating decent revenue.  I’d also like to see the price drop below $100 – which might happen at some point in the year.  I’ll keep my eye on this one.

Kindle Wi-Fi with Special Offers –  This is the newest Kindle offering.  It’s basically identical to the $139 Kindle Wi-Fi, but is priced at $114.  The catch?  It will feature advertising and special offers on the bottom of the main screen on on the screen saver (but NOT embedded within the text of a book).  I see this as an interesting option.  For customers who don’t want the ads, they can pay $139 for the standard Kindle Wi-Fi.  For those who don’t mind the ads – or even those who WANT to get the special offers Amazon will send them, it’s a good deal.  Personally, I probably wouldn’t go for this model.  You save $25, but over life of the product, this breaks down to a few pennies per day.  That’s a slam dunk deal for Amazon – an amazingly cheap captive audience.

Make the ad-supported Kindle FREE, and you might get my attention.  This might sound like a ridiculous idea, but Amazon would greatly expand the customer base for the ads – and also the customer base for the bread-and-butter product, the eBooks.  Free Kindles in 2012?  Don’t be surprised.

Kindle owners – any thoughts to share with us?

Jenna’s cheerleader skirt fluttered in the breeze and she yanked the gas station receipt from the pump.  $50 for a tank of gas?  Ouch.  She was about to jump back in the car when she realized that she was running low on funds.  She exchanged quick greetings with the cashier as she made a beeline for the ATM.  A moment later, she had refilled her wallet with pictures of dead presidents.

Jenna remembered that her mom had asked her to pick up a few items at the grocery store on the way home from the wrestling meet.  She didn’t want to backtrack to the store – she’d just pick them up here.  She experienced a bit of sticker shock when she grabbed the first item – this was far more expensive than the grocery store.  Jenna decided to bite the bullet – she wasn’t going to waste the time going back to the grocery store just to save a few bucks.

The bell on the door jingled and man in his mid thirties entered the store. He grabbed a Pepsi and a package of Ding Dongs and headed to the counter.

“Any gas with that?” asked Mary, the cashier.

“No,” came the gruff response.  “Just give me all the money in the register.”  The man shoved a gun into Mary’s face.

Mary hesitated for a moment, and the man fired a shot into the security camera.  As pieces of the camera fell to the floor, Mary opened the register and started pulling bills out of the drawer.  She shoved them across the counter to the robber.

“That’s not enough,” he complained.  “What’s in the safe?”

“It’s on a time lock,” Mary explained.  “I can’t open it.”

“Maybe this will help you figure out a way to get it open,” he said, firing several shots in Mary’s direction as she ducked for cover.

Out of the corner of his eye, the robber noticed the petite blond cheerleader at the back of the store.  As he turned the gun toward her, he noticed a projectile flying toward him.  The object had knocked the gun out of his hand before he could react.  Before he could move toward the gun, a second object hit him square in the forehead.  The can of frozen orange juice exploded upon impact.

Jenna charged down the aisle and tackle the robber will all the force her ninety five pound body could muster.  As she grappled with the perp, the cashier retrieved the pistol and held the robber at gunpoint until the police arrived.

We’ve all heard the age-old axiom that “Actions speak louder than words,” right?  What would you think of the following actions based on that?  In a country where corporations are already paying the lowest amount (by percentage) of taxes in that nation’s history, a group politicians is trying to lower the corporate income tax.  In that same country where lower and middle class incomes have been virtually stagnant the past 10 years and the top .5% of people own over 40% of the wealth that same group of politicians is trying to reduce taxes for the wealthiest and reduce medical benefits for the poorest.  What do those actions tell you?

Yes, that country is the United States and that group of politicians is the Republicans.  They’re trying to do those things while saying they understand what the common person is going through.  In a recent discussion with a very conservative friend he told me people need to stop complaining and “just buckle down and work harder.”  I’m no stranger to hard work, I worked at a Burger King in high school to help get money for college.  I worked 20+ hours a week in college for the same reason as well, while attending classes full-time.  While lucky enough to be working in an IT department on Wall Street I would do 60-70 hours a week and think nothing of it, mostly so I could pay off my student loans early.  I’m sure there are plenty of lazy people out there and I have no sympathy for them, but there are also plenty of hard-working people who are out of work because some banks decided to use some not so scrupulous methods back in the run-up to 2008’s crash and recession.  We all know what happened after that … the banks got bailed out and the average joe didn’t.  Now the banks are back to making their usual record profits and many people are still struggling … and a certain group of politicians once again wants to tell us that “Trickle-Down” will work.  We give breaks to the rich, and they’re supposed to pass some of that on.

It has been proven time and time again that “Trickle Down Economics” (or as the modern conservatives call it “Supply Side Economics”) doesn’t work – The CBO has stated when you have to give away money, money given to lower and middle class people has an almost 3-fold effect on economic returns because these people tend to spend money on necessities.  Money given to corporations or the wealthiest (generally through tax breaks/loopholes/reductions) tends to stay with just a few people and thus has little return.  If there is hard math on why it doesn’t work, why would any politician champion refusing to repeal ill-advised Bush tax cuts to the wealthy while at the same time proposing cuts to services for the poor?  With the income gap getting wider every year since the 80’s wouldn’t this just do the same thing?

One of the things that should happen is a revision to the tax code, cut the loopholes, garbage, tax shelters, etc.  When companies like GE are not paying any taxes at all despite billions in profit, millions in tax credits, and who knows how much in no-bid contracts, how can you argue against a revision?  That’s right, GE spent millions of dollars on lobbying for laws and loopholes so they wouldn’t have to pay any US taxes despite making 5.1 billion dollars in the US.  If corporations are now people, thanks to Citizens United, why can’t I do the same?  Oh, that’s right, because politicians are no longer politicians in this country, they’re simply wage slaves to the highest bidder.

Tax codes change every 25-30 years (1926, 1954, 1985), the reason is because in these occasional years there are complete overhauls, getting rid of the loopholes, tax breaks, ways for rich people to pay less money and the government to make it up by sucking more money out of the middle and lower class.  They need to be fixed on these occasional years because as soon as it’s finished, the corporate lobbyists move in and start to throw money at politicians to re-add loopholes and tax breaks.  Maybe the 2012 tax code revision needs to include a law that prohibits politicians from becoming lobbyists for a minimum of 5 years after leaving any political office?

Writing is a terrible thing to neglect. Without practice, writing becomes just a tool of communication rather than a gateway to expression. If you allow the everyday pressure of life interfere with your literary efforts and only write in response to ideas or events that push your basic beliefs too far, you become a whiner with a pen (or keyboard).

Many of my most recent posts have been about politics and natural disasters. My motivation came from the immediacy of the events. They were easy topics, and ones in which I had a great deal of interest. I have reviewed these posts and feel that I too fell into the whiner format, especially when addressing political issues. I will not apologize for the opinions stated, as I still maintain them. I will, however try to be more of a writer and advocate for writing than a commentator.

Realize that I am not criticizing the use of current events or controversial topics to inspire your writing effort. Rather, I am questioning the effort put into creating a worthwhile transcript based on eloquence and style. The structure of the piece at times establishes the major feeling of the article. The word choice prepares the reader to accept or deny the premise based to the perceived intelligence of the author.

When reading the classics, remember that the masters were not so much more educated, as exercising a wider vocabulary. The modern has provided ease in every area of life. We have food in abundance so that even the poorest people in the United States suffer from obesity. We have entertainment at our fingertips, in many cases for no cost. We are healthiest of any recorded generation, even with our self-destructive habits; from sexual promiscuity, to gluttony, to drug and alcohol abuse. We have even been provided with a reduced instruction set for communications; from tweeting, to instant message acronyms, to the use of a single word as noun, verb, adjective, advert and injunctive.

I am not complaining about the ease with which we live. It is an opportunity for every one of us to make incredible strides in all of our endeavors. Our error is taking these benefits of modern life to relax or even become dormant. In past postings, I have complained about global warming alarmist, who seem to think that they can save the world by redistributing wealth. I may disagree with them, but at least they are doing something. They are attempting to use the scientific advancements of the last few hundred years to explain and prepare for a concern that they feel deeply in their inner selves.

It is exactly these types of people I want to address when encouraging the practice of writing. Passion is a powerful driving force. With practice, that passion can be used to develop writing skills that do not simple express a view point, but take that expression away from bludgeoning to persuasion and continuous productive discourse.

I asked what inspires you (to write) as the title of this post. I was inspired to re-evaluate my writing from several sources over the last few weeks. I have been heavily loaded with my actual paying job, and this has restricted my time for creative composition. I found that my writing at work was also suffering; I was not conveying instructions, progress, problems or accomplishments clearly and concisely as is required when working with a large team of people with varying talents. I then saw a report on the difficulty in fighting obesity. The struggles that I have with my weight (as the topic of some of my posts) are not as extreme as those featured in the report, but I had empathy for those people and could see myself in their place. Finally, I watched the most recent version of Pride and Prejudice. I was struck by the vocabulary and ease with which all of the characters conversed. I reflected on all of these stimuli to evaluate what I felt was lacking, not just in communication in general, but in my writing specifically and why I felt the lack existed. The result of this introspection is presented to you here. As with anything you want to do well, you must practice. Therefore, I offer to you the same advice I have prepared for myself; keep writing.

Suggested viewing: Pride and Prejudice:



The biggest and in my opinion the best sports memorabilia auction is just around the corner. Robert Edward Auctions does one auction a year and it is always a biggie. I believe Kosmo has written articles about it in the past (Editor’s note – Yep), but this year is also sure to not disappoint.

A few lots of early interest are a 1910 Old Mill cigarette’s Shoeless Joe Jackson rookie card. I am more of a Yankee fan you say? How about a Lou Gehrig game used jersey? Is there anything much cooler than an original signed 1902 Christy Mathewson players contract? There is even a Honus Wagner card in the auction that has been professionally restored. Not sure how that will affect its value, but my guess is that card will still sell for a quarter of a million at the very least.

Cards, bats, hats, balls, photos, autographs, historical documents, jerseys, cleats, sheet music, basically anything sports or historical related and all of it cool. There is even non-sports cards such as Mars Attacks, the Three Stooges, Duke Famous Americans (one of my personal favorites cigarette card sets made in the late 1800’s) as well as a veritable cornucopia of other items.

The best part of the auction is while you can view it all online, you can also follow the link below and request a free catalog. This catalog is a piece of art work in and of itself. You have to remember – this is an auction house so the write ups on the items will be flowery as they are trying to maximizing bids, but it is a full color catalog with lots and lots of photos. (last year the book was basically 725 pages) The Catalog ships this week and REA will Fed Ex it to you so if you sign up today – you will likely have it by no later than early next week.

Here is the link to get yourself a free catalog

http://www.robertedwardauctions.com/contact/index.html

Last year 181 lots sold in excess of $10,000 and the total of all lots suprassed 10 million. I believe they get a 20% cut of both buyers and sellers commission which is partly why they can produce such an outstanding catalog. I have had great customer service with REA. Last year my son in a overzealous attempt at recycling, pitched a couple of my old catalogs into the recycle bin. I sent an email to REA and I received a note back from Robert Lifson himself, and he promptly overnight Fed Ex delivered the last 5 years of catalogs to me – at no cost with his compliments!

It is good customer service such as this, as well as great auction items, and the best catalog in the business that keeps buyers and sellers coming back to this auction each and every year. I personally will be keeping my eye on some of the golf card items as I am a serious collector of vintage golf cards and this auction is chock full of them.

Until next time, stay classy and may your Old Judges be worth thousands!

You’ve all seen ads in The Soap Boxers in the past.  Some of you might ask why we run ads.  Well, much like television, radio, and print media, we do have costs associated with the site.  The costs are relatively low, but like any business, Hyrax Publications strives to turn a profit.  Kosmo is the guy behind Hyrax Publications, and I do cultivate other revenue streams.  The online store, consulting business, and sales of my Kindle books all produce revenue streams.  Unfortunately, those streams are slow and meandering at this point, rather than a gushing torrent.

It’s not just Kosmo, of course.  Our other writers are independent contractors whose contract promises them a share of profits.  A key point to consider is  that profits must materialize, or they don’t get paid.  At this point, profits have not yet materialized, so they haven’t been paid.  Yep, the writers have been churning out articles every month (or in the case of Johnny and Martin, every week) without receiving a penny.  I think we should be at a point where profit sharing will kick in for 2012, but that’s not certain.

So we run ads in an attempt to turn this labor of love into something that pays at least a few pennies per hour.  How much combined effort do the writers spend on The Soap Boxers every year?  Between writing, coding, guest articles on other sites, and administrative tasks, my effort is probably around 250 hours – and I’d guess the entire group of writers puts in 500 hours or more.

Until this point, Google’s Adsense has been our primary source of ad revenue.  It’s an interesting program, but results have been a bit underwhelming.  There are several reasons for this.  Most advertisers prefer sites that focus on a niche.  By design, we are nicheless.  Second, we actively block advertisers if we feel they are not a good fit for the site.  This reduces competition for ad slots, and thus drives down the price we get – but I sleep easier at night knowing that these ads don’t appear on the site.  (Note: the nature of Adsense forces us to be reactive, rather than proactive, in blocking ads.  If you see an ad that you feel is inappropriate, send an email to kosmo@observingcasually.com.)

Finally, in the past we have attempted to minimize the number of ads we show to our regular visitors (you!).  When we don’t show ads, we definitely won’t make any money from you!

Moving forward, we are making sweeping changes to our advertising.  People who stumble across our articles through search engines will still see Adsense ads from any number of different advertisers.  The rest of you will not.  You will see only ads from independent sites who directly contract with us (such as It’s All Good) – and Amazon.com.

Our support of Amazon is not a shallow attempt to separate you from you hard earned money.  I have discussed Amazon with many of the writers, and the consensus seems to be that Amazon is a great place to buy stuff.  Personally, I’ve been buying from Amazon since it was a relatively small site that sold nothing but books.  My long history with Amazon makes me hope that may of you will see these ads as a service, rather than an annoyance.

You’re going to see a few different types of ads.  The most noticeable will be at the top left of every articles.  There are going to be a couple of different versions of this ads.  Newer articles will feature products of a topical nature (today, you’ll see items related to the Civil War, as 150 years have now passed since the conflict between the North and South).  At times, this will reflect Kosmo’s personal interests (thus the recent search for Stieg Larsson), but at other times will focus on topics that seem to be of interest to the public, regardless of whether I personally have an interest.  Older articles will show items related to a new book, music, or movie release  At this moment, the featured items are version of the book Water For Elephants – the basis for the upcoming Reese Witherspoon film.

It’s important to note that you could buy ANYTHING through Amazon, you don’t need to stick to the displayed items.  There’s a handy search bar to the left of the “Go” button.  Plug in the name of that book you’ve been looking to buy and hit “Go”.  The widget will then populate with the items you are looking for, without taking you away from The Soap Boxers.

You will also see an ad in the sidebar that will show computer-related merchandise.  Blog readers are, on average, more computer-savvy than the average citizen, so I’m hoping that many of these products will be relevant to you.

Finally, readers of articles that get a decent amount of search engine traffic will see customized Amazon ads displaying related items.  Are Athletes Overpaid features some of my favorite sports-related books and movies.

This campaign is still in the early stages, so bear with us a bit.  At times, you may very well see some strange things as we do a bit of experimentation.

It’s important to note that although we do receive a small commission on the Amazon sales, this does not affect the price you pay.  If you buy through Amazon, we humbly ask you to consider letting us help you find those items.

Note: This story is a sequel to Bull, one of my favorite stories.

Ty Morris spat into the dust and cursed his luck.  He hand gently massaged his left shoulder.  After all this time, he could still feel pain – dull most of the time, with occasional flare-ups.  Ty was ready to get back to work and was hoping for an easy bull in his first go round.  He didn’t need to get the highest score and notch a win – he just wanted to hang on for eight seconds and build up some confidence.

Ty dug a divot into the dirt with the heel of his boot and pushed his hat back.  By plain old dumb luck, he had drawn Crash Course.  Crash was a legend – already a three time bucking bull of the year, and the bull seemed to just be entering his prime.  He was much by feared many who dared hop upon his back.  Ty Morris wasn’t scared of the beast, but he certainly had a health respect for Crash.  When Ty was at his best, a matchup with Crash Course was a fair fight.  With Ty still feeling the effects of his injury, he’d need a miracle to avoid getting bucked off and stomped to death by the beast.

Ty looked up to the clouds.  “Quick and painless, God.  That’s all I’m asking.”

Ty could feel the heart of a warrior beating within the bull as he attempted to get comfortable atop the beast.  When the chute gate opened, the bull rocketed into the arena to face his fans.  In a moment, he noticed something out of place.  The rider had barely managed to hang on.  He had experience with this guy, and he was good.  Something was wrong.

Crash gave a small buck, and felt Ty nearly slide off.  This wasn’t right – he couldn’t let a bona fide champion be embarrassed by getting bucked off so easily.  Crash bucked much more violently the second time, but subtly shifted his body to make it easier for the rider to stay in place.

Ty Morris was confused.  It was almost as if the bull was trying to work with him – bucking high and then moving in a way that decreased the likelihood of Ty being bucked off.  That wasn’t possible.  Crash was a champion, but was still just a dumb bovine like all the others … right?  He chased the thought out of his mind and tried to avoid thinking for the duration of the ride.

Just past the eight second mark, Crash Course bucked Ty high into the air.  A moment after he landed, Crash turned and charged straight for him – missing him by inches.  The crowd went wild.  Ty could swear he saw a twinkle in the bull’s eye.  He shook his head and resolved to lay off the caffeine for a while.

Crash Course played around with the clowns for a bit, pretending to be violently fighting them off.  When he finally left the ring, he bellowed a farewell to Ty Morris.  Next time, you’re mine, cowboy.