The SoapBoxers

With Peter Rabbit a hare busy this week, we’re swapping days. Fiction Friday will occur today and Carrots of Wisdom will be featured on Friday.

This is a bit of commuter fiction. The majority of the story was composed on the drive home from work on Tuesday.

Avery Miller threw his final warm up pitch. As the catcher returned the ball to him, he reflected on the enormity of the situation. Bottom of the ninth, one run lead, sacks jammed, division title on the line. This was the situation that called for a shutdown closer – a guy like the dominant reliever for the Gazelles, Antwon Stapleton. Unfortunately, Stapleton had gotten them into this mess, and his utter lack of command had forced the manager to turn the game over the Miller.

Miller took a deep breath, toed the rubber, and took a big stride toward the plate. The book on Miller was that he tended to nibble around the edges with breaking balls, so he cut loose with his best fastball. The ball took off like a missile, bound for the low, inside corner of the plate. Mark Irick of the Cougars was looking for the fastball and made solid contact. The ball soared high into the air down the left field line. The umpire twirled his finger to signify the home run. Avery cursed under his breath. The crowd roared in appreciation of the blast that propelled their team into the playoffs.

In the midst of the melee, Gazelle manager Spud Walker popped out of the dugout and headed for home plate, where he proceeded to argue that the ball was not a home run – rather, he said, the ball had drifted slightly to the left of the foul pole.

The umpires huddled briefly before heading to the instant replay booth. The crowd held its collective breath as the umpires reviewed the call. When they finally came back onto the field, they ruled that the ball was foul by inches. The crowd booed lustily.

Mark Irick readied himself for the next pitch, this time with a count of no balls and one strike. He tapped his bat against each of his spikes three times, in order to knock the imaginary dirt loose. He loosened and tightened his batting gloves. His routine finished, he stepped back into the batter’s box.

Miller shook off a couple of signs from his catcher before getting the call he wanted – a pitch outside the strike zone. He was hoping that Irick would be overaggressive and swing at the bad pitch. The former MVP was not fooled, however. The bat never left his shoulder as the pitched sailed past him for a ball.

Miller’s next pitch was a bit high and inside. Irick flinched a bit, but stood his ground in the box and watched to count go to 2-1. The next pitch was in the lower third of the strike zone, but was a bit more toward the middle of the plate than Avery would have liked, and Irick swung and drove the ball high and deep – but way foul.

Miller’s next pitch was outside by a half inch, and the count was full. With the bases loaded, Avery couldn’t afford a ball, so he was forced to throw in the strike zone. Irick fouled one pitch just out of the range of the third baseman and the next pitch was fouled into the crowd in back on home plate.

The stadium, in spite of the capacity crowd, was as quiet as a tomb – allowing Irick to focus intently on the pitches.

Miller took another deep breath before snapping off a 12-to-6 curve. As the pitch broke sharply, the bat entered the strike zone and launched the ball toward the deepest part of center field. David MacFarland raced toward the wall in a futile effort to catch up to the ball. Incredibly, he caught up to the ball as he reached the outfield fence. MacFarland timed his jump perfectly and extended his six foot four inch frame to its maximum extent. The ball hit the edge of his glove for a split second before popping back up into the air and falling to the ground. A moment later, MacFarland landed on the ground with a thud.

As the first Cougars runner crossed the plate, Mark Irick stood at home, spellbound by the play. As another runner raced toward the plate, Irick broke free from the trance and began to run toward first base.

Left fielder Brian Johnson raced to the ball and freed it from under MacFarland’s body. He set himself and gunned the ball toward first base. The first baseman stretched to catch the wild throw. He gloved the ball and tapped first base with his foot a split second before Irick crossed the base.

Since the play was a force out, the runs that had crossed the plate did not count. Avery Miller escaped the game with a save, and the Gazelles were playoff bound.

With Johnny Goodman out on assignment, I’m jumping in to bounce around the world of sports.

September Callup Time

Today marks the day when Major League Baseball teams can expand their rosters from 25 players to 40. Not all teams will call up an extra 15 players, though. Calling a player up to the major league starts his service time “clock”, which affects when they will become a free agent. Thus, the short term benefit of having the players in the major leagues for one month can be outweighed by the long term financial benefit of keeping him away from free agency for a full extra year.

However, September typically features the debut of a lot of players who are expected to contribute the following year. The teams get to see how the players adjust to playing major league competition, and the players get to play though a bit of the rookie “yips” in games that often don’t count for a whole lot.

For teams that are in playoff contention, the situation is much different. The expansion of rosters allows teams to add extra hitters to their bench and extra arms to the bullpen – making it possible for the bullpen to pitch more innings than normal in the throes of a pennant race.

On a related note, players acquired before midnight last night are eligible for postseason rosters.  (Confused about the fact that the trade deadline was a month ago?  Players acquired after July 31 must clear waivers first; players acquired earlier do not need to clear waivers.)  The NL West leading Dodgers acquired slugger Jim Thome from the White Sox and starting pitcher John Garland from the Snakes.  The Rockies countered by picking up pitcher Jose Contreras from the White Sox in exchange for prospect Brandon Hynick (a casual Facebook friend of mine).  Advantage to the Dodgers.

Rockies Update

My beloved Rockies just finished what I considered to be a critically important stretch that included seven games against the Giants and three against the division leading Giants. After taking three of four against the Giants, the Rockies took the first game from the Dodgers – pulling to within two games of the division lead in the process. Unfortunately, they lost the final two games of that series before being swept against the Giants in a series in the bay. The Rockies have fallen into a wild card tie with the Giants, setting up the potential for a great September race.

As for my favorite player, Troy Tulowitzki pushed his OPS (on-base-plus-slugging) over 1.000 for August on the strength of a homer and double in his August finale. After a dreadful start to the year, Tulo has record three straight months with a 1.000+ OPS.

Former Rockie Matt Holliday (now with the Cardinals) finished August with “only” a .963 OPS for the month, on the heels of a 1.150 OPS in July. Hidden by the arbitrary nature of the months of the calendar is a 24 game stretch beginning July 20 and ending August 15 in which Holliday posted a 1.355 OPS. While Holliday did manage to hit 7 homers during that stretch, it was the .474 batting average that was a major factor. The tricky thing for the Cardinals is whether or not they will be able to hammer out a new deal with Holliday’s agent, Scott Boras – or whether Holliday will test the free agent waters with a strong non-Coors season under his belt.

NFL

Fantasy Draft season is in full swing. This is a good sign that the NFL season in just around the corner.

On the positive side, we face a year without the “insight” of John Madden.

On the down side, my Minnesota Vikings gave $25 million to sign Brett Favre for two years. I’ve never been a fan of Favre, and his recent off-field antics have served to sour me on him even more. My plan is simply to ignore the NFL until it has been purged of Favre. I have really been focusing on baseball 365 days a year in recently years, anyway, so this should not be a major sacrifice.

College Football

College football also kicks off this weekend, highlighted by Iowa State’s Thursday night game against North Dakota State. I’m hopefully that Thursday’s game will be but the first step in a season that will end with a BCS Championship for my Cyclones.

Or maybe just a bowl.

The University of Michigan is making news for possible NCAA violations. Anonymous current and former players allege that the amount of time Wolverine players spent on football activities exceeded the limits set down by the NCAA. Michigan suffered their first losing season in more than 40 years in 2008, and this news can only be a distraction as they get ready to face Western Michigan in their maiden 2009 contest.

An exciting week in sports this week. I am still resting up from my trip to the Solheim Cup, and I am sure you are all ready to read something other than another golf article, so I will just touch on some golf briefly and move on.

Golf

A real win for the LPGA this week with a win for the United States Team in the Solheim Cup. It might have well spelled a coming out party for Michelle Wie, who along with Paula Creamer were clearly the stars of the US team. Wie went an impressive 3-0-1 in her four matches played. It is too easy to forget she is still very young has it seems like she has already been playing forever.

Sergio Garcia sees another opportunity slip by as he extinguishes a late lead on Sunday in yet another tournament. And what is up with the rugged bearded look Sergio? Go back to the clean shaven Michelob Poster Boy look, it is much better for you and I am sure your many sponsors would agree with that assessment.

Baseball

C.C. Sabathia became the majors first 15 game winner of 2009 as the Yankees continued to dominate over the Boston Red Sox. No love in Beantown right now as the Yanks have built an impressive lead and seem to be firing on all cylinders. The Yankees now have a huge 7 ½ game in the division … just a few months ago it seemed like this was totally out of the question for this year.

Today marks the 20th anniversary of Pete Rose’s lifetime ban from baseball. What I have always found fascinating about the Rose lifetime ban is that very few people are on the fence with an opinion. You either think Pete Rose should or should not be in the Hall of Fame. Even current Hall members are on different sides of the issue. There is no disputing however that the all time hit leader has some statistical support in many categories that warrant a spot in Cooperstown, only time will tell if the decision of Bart Giamatti is ever overturned.

Football

Brett Favre is back …. again …. I think I would un-retire for a cool twenty five million dollars over two years. The Vikings have the running game, they have the defense, I am not sure they have the receivers. All the Vikings really need to do is to manage the game offensively. This could be a huge year for Adrian Peterson if he stays healthy.

Latest line from Vegas….over/under for number of times the new “JerryTron” 60 yard long High Definition Jumbo screen gets hit by punts at the new Dallas Cowboy stadium this year….14 ½.

And finally …

The crazy comment of the week:

Lou Holtz makes a bold post season prediction for the BCS Title game. “ I personally believe, if you ask me, ‘Who’s going to play in the national championship game?’ I’d say it’s going to be Florida and the University of Notre Dame. They return 11 starters on offense. They return all three running backs, the two best wide receivers, they have a great defense coming back.”

And to think …. ESPN pays this guy …. wow.

Until next week … Good Luck with your last minute Fantasy Football drafts!

Monday was a national holiday of sorts. It was the signing deadline for most of the players selected in this June’s Major League draft. College seniors (as well as Aaron Crow and Tanner Scheppers, who skipped their senior seasons to play in the independent leagues) were not bound by this deadline, but everyone else was.

My focus on this glorious day was on two pitchers – a righty and a lefty. The righty was top overall pick Stephen Strasburg and the lefty was Tyler Matzek, the #11 overall pick.

Stephen Strasburg

Strasburg has been the subject of much media attention over the last year or so. He has been an absurdly dominant college pitcher, throwing a fastball clocked as high as 103 mph. Superlatives were hurled at him by the bushel. Was he the best college pitcher ever? Surely the best in a decade? Many scouts deemed him to be the best player they had ever seen. To make things even sweeter, Strasburg’s coach at San Diego State – Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn – had made a concerted effort to avoid heaping abuse on Strasburg by avoiding monstrously high pitch counts in games. Many top college pitchers are overused by coaches eager to pad their own resumes with wins, at the expense of the health of their pitchers.

After the Washington National signed him, they bumped into the sticky subject of money. There were initial indications that Strasburg’s agent, Scott Boras, was looking for a deal around $50 million! Many thought that it was a slam dunk that he would hold out for $30 million.

There was a strong possibility that the Nationals would not be able to sign Strasburg, and he would re-enter the draft next year. The Nationals would be compensated with the #2 pick in the 2010 draft (an “n+1” formula is used to compensate teams that are unable to sign picks in the first two rounds, so the #1 overall pick in 2009 would yield a #2 in 2010). The Nationals are also likely to hold the #1 pick in next year’s draft by “virtue” of having the worst record this year. However, they would be unable to draft Strasburg a second time without his consent.

So, what happened? Negotiating went deep into the night, and the sides emerged with a deal that will pay Strasburg a reported $15.067 million and keep him under control of the Nationals for four seasons – at which point he will go into the arbitration system. This sounds like a ton of money (and it is) but I score this as a win for the Nationals. If they can lose enough games to land the #1 pick next year, they could add catcher Bryce Harper to the mix, and have a couple of very nice players for the long haul.

For more on Stephen Strasburg, read my fake interview from a few months ago.

Tyler Matzek

Rockies draftee Tyler Matzek garned a bit less attention than Strasburg. The Matzek selection was noteworthy for Rockies Nation, however. The small market Rockies have typically drafted players who were considered to be “signable” (a baseball euphemism for “cheap”) while eschewing players whose upsides were perceived to be higher.

Matzek, however, did not fit this description. Widely considered to be one of the top pitchers in the draft, high schooler Matzek slid down to #11 due to signability concerns (i.e. he wanted a lot of money), where the Rockies picked him. This move was the complete opposite of how the Rockies have historically drafted. Some observers felt that this was a strategic move by the Rockies. The thought was that they really didn’t want to pony up the money to pay a top pick this year, and would prefer to just take the compensatory pick next year.

For his part, Matzek talked a good game, talking about the opportunity to pitch and play first base for the University of Oregon.

Matzek arrived in Eugene, Oregon on Sunday night, which was not a good sign. However, when reports surfaced that Matzek had not attended Monday classes at the University of Oregon, my spirits soared. This was an indication that he might indeed sign with the Rockies.

In the end, Matzek left behind the world of co-eds and spring break for a reported $3.9 million bonus.

If you wonder what my initial response to the draft was, read the draftermath from June.

Golf

The big news of the week is not the fact that yours truly shot a career low round of 67 this past week … it instead is the fourth golf major of the year on the PGA tour.

This week Hazeltine hosts the 91st PGA Championship. I have been one to pick Tiger Woods in all of the majors this year and he is a smooth 0-3. So I will go with someone else. Camillo Villegas is my pick for the week.

Tiger does have an interesting statistic in his quest for a major this year. He has one each of the tournaments he played in BEFORE playing in a major this year … the pre Major Grand Slam if you will.

He has 14 Majors in 248 career starts. This also includes 70 tour victories. Jack Nicklaus at the same point in his career had 9 major wins and 41 tour victories…amazing.

Next Week the Solheim Cup will take place in Sugar Grove Illinois. Johnny Goodman will be present with Mrs. Goodman checking out the action as the members of the US team take on the European contingent. This will be my first venture to an international type of tournament and I hope to bring some photos to an article in a couple of weeks.

Cornhusker Football

The family all went to the annual “Fan Day” at Memorial Stadium in Lincoln Nebraska this past week. This is the day where all the players and coaches are available for the mass throngs of husker faithful to sign autographs, take pictures, high five one another … and stand in long long lines. I took my 3 1/2 year old son to this event and he had the time of his life. It is nice to see college athletes taking time to meet the community and sign autographs for the kids. One of the best things at the event was a player who was having each of the kids sign his name sheet which was located on the table in front of him. When I asked him why he was doing this he said ” because one day one of these kids will end up being a college football player … and I can say I have one of their first autographs”

Baseball

The Yankees swept the Red Sox this past weekend to vault into first place in the American League East. Troy Tulowitzki of the Colorado Rockies hit for the cycle … was it preferred scoring on a bobbled ball by Alfonso Soriano … should it have instead been ruled a double with an extra base error …. too late now … but I know the head of The Soap Boxers is happy ….

SuitGate

Too much is being made of the “technology” which is being used to make swimming times faster. The high tech suits allow for easier buoyancy and well as alarmingly faster times. What happened to the good ol days of Mark Spitz and the Moustache? Can we all just wear the trunks and goggles and see who is fastest? I wish tennis would go back to wood rackets as well. It would show who is the most talented, not just necessarily who has the best equipment.

And finally for the parting shot this week. Fantasy Football drafts are just around the corner. Send your thoughts to me here and I will be sure to include any tid bits of your wisdom in a column for next week in the sports wrap up.

Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitzki had a magical night last night, recording five hits in five at bats, hitting for the cycle (a single, double, triple, and homer all in the same game), driving in seven runs and scoring two runs.  It was the type of night that he will remember forever.

Interestingly, his night could have been even better.  In the second inning of the game, Tulo (who had already homered in the first inning) hit a towering fly ball that soared an estimated twenty feet above the one hundred foot tall foul pole in left field.  The umpire immediately rule the ball foul.  The Rockies manager protested, and the call was reviewed via instant replay.

Unfortunately, the disputed play occurred at dusk, and it was difficult to determine whether the ball was fair or foul.  Thus, they had no option other than allowing the initial call of foul to stand.  Tulo did single home two runs in the at bat, but if the foul ball had been ruled a homer, it would have been a grand slam.  (Note: I find no fault on the part of the umpires – it was a tough call.)

In early June, Tulowitzki was mired in a season long slump, on the heels of a injury-marred and lackluster 2008 season.  When play began on the day of June 7, he was batting .216 with 5 homers and 16 RBI in 167 at bats (.683 OPS).  At that point, he found his stroke and has batted .324 with 16 homers and 44 RBI in 236 at bats over a span of 57 games (1.059 OPS).  During stretch of 62 games that encompasses those 57 games, the Rockies have gone 42-18 – rebounding from a 20-32 start to the year to find themselves with a record of 62-50.  The Rockies are atop the wild card race and a mere 5 ½ games behind the hated Dodgers in the National League West.

As we hit the Major League non-waiver trade deadline today, we also reach the conclusion of our story.  Pleased read part one first (see the link in the table of contents at the top of the article).

Buzz immediately grab his phone and called Prescott Williams.

“What now, Bismarck?  You trying to get Blanchett for thirty cents on the dollar?”

“I’m actually calling about Ray Mitchell.”

“Ray Mitchell?  Why on earth would you want him?  He’s a sieve at third base – your guy is a much better all around player.”

“Yours is not to wonder why, Prescott.  I’ll give you Oscar Bishop for him.”

Prescott Williams pondered for about ten seconds before snapping up the deal.

Next,  Bismarck dialed the number of George Peyton.

“George, this is Buzz.  I have that right handed power bat yu have been looking for.  Ray Mitchell.”

“Ray Mitchell?  I’ve been trying to pry him away, but that doodoo head Williams was insisting that they were in the race and needed to hang onto all of their core players.”

“They’re no longer in the race, George.  Al Blanchett took a liner off his leg.  From the sound of the impact, he has a fracture and he’s done for the year.”

“Shit.  I hadn’t heard that.  When did it happen?”

“About five minutes ago.”

“And you jumped in like a piranha,” laughed Peyton.  “OK, Mitchell would definitely give us some thunder, though we’d probably need to DH him.  What are you looking for?”

“Vance Barcone.”

“I’ll have to check with the boss and get back to you.  Barcone is one of our better minor league pitchers.”

“Mitchell is the bat that can get you into the playoffs, George.  If you don’t want him, others in your division will.  Fish or cut bait.”

“Just give me five minutes,” begged Peyton.

“You have three minutes,” replied Bismarck, as he hung up.  The key, as always, was to keep the pressure on and force the other team to act more quickly than they wanted to.

Buzz chomped a handful of corn nuts, swigged some Coke, and burped violently.  Two and a half minutes later, his phone rang.  Peyton was able to pull the trigger, and Vance Barcone was a member of the Jackals.  Buzz quickly went to work on pushing Barcone out of the Jackals organization and onto his final destination.

It was a mere ninety minutes before the trade deadline when Buzz was able to reach Gordon Auth.

“Gordo,” exclaimed Bismarck.  “If you’re still looking to deal Travis Wolf, I might have a deal for you.  I just nabbed Vance Barcone from the Rhinos.  I could bundle him with Lewis Burke.”

“From a talent perspective, that’s about right,” replied Auth.  “How much cash are you willing to throw into the deal?”

“Cash?” replied Bismarck, with a tinge of shock entering his voice.  “We’re taking Wolf’s salary off your hands.  We’re already helping you  with your finances.”

“We’ve been having some bad financial times, Buzz.  You know that.  You’re going to have to sweeten the pot with a few million bucks to get the deal done.”

“No way,” replied Bismarck.  “I have another deal brewing to get Blanchett from the Sharks.”  Bismarck was bluffing, praying Gordon Auth hadn’t heard the news of the injury to Blanchett.

Gordon Auth sighed audibly.

“Can you throw me some sort of a bone, Buzz?  I’d like to be able to tell the boss that I was able to get at least a bit of cash in the deal.”

“Tell you what, Gordy.  I could include two million in the deal if you throw in that Willewaldt kid.”

Bismarck could sense the uncertainty on the other end of the phone.  Auth tended to have a good handle on the players at the upper levels of the minor leagues, but had the tendency to ignore all but the elite prospects at the lower level.  Bismarck doubted that Auth was aware  of the metrics that indicated that Willewaldt was a considerably better player that his raw stats indicated.  There was a distinct possibility that Auth was completely unaware of Willewaldt.  Getting Willewaldt for two million would be a steal.  Buzz went for the kill.

“Gordy, I have Prescott Williams on the other line,” he lied.  “We’re very close on the parameters of a deal for Blanchett.  What should I tell him?”

The game of chicken had come to a head – and understandably, the weaker GM succumbed.

“OK,” replied Auth.  “I’ll send in the paperwork.”

Buzz hung up the phone and released a celebratory fart.  With Travis Wolf on board, the Jackals had a very strong chance of making it to the playoffs.  Not only that, but he had bought Willewaldt for considerably below fair market value.   The day wasn’t over, though.  He still needed to submit the paperwork to the league office.  He hammered away on the keyboard of his laptop until the documentation had been filed.

Buzz grabbed his phone for one last call.  He reached Commissioner Jaylene Wrigley to inform her of the trades – just in case the technology failed.  As Bismarck listened to her voice, he could not help but be reminded of that weekend in Vegas when too much tequila had caused Jaylene to make some rather poor decisions – much to the benefit of the league’s Don Juan, Mr. Buzz Bismarck himself.  After his mild flirting had been rebuffed, the call ended.  Buzz turned on the TV, and flopped down on the futon in the middle of the office, where he promptly fell asleep.

In the spirit of the Major League non-waiver trade deadline on Friday, I am writing a two part story about a GM trying to make a deal so that his team can make a playoff run.  You’ll get the first half today, but you’ll have to wait until Friday for the conclusion – just as the suitors of Roy Halladay must wait.  (At press time, Halladay had not been traded.)

Buzz Bismarck munched on a mid-afternoon donut as he stared at the list of possible targets. The Jackals were on the cusp of contending for the playoffs. With so many teams still in the race, it had been difficult to find a willing trade partner. It had already been a long day. Many donuts had been eaten since he got into the office at 5 AM.

Buzz kicked off his shoes, put his feet on his desk, and called the GM of the Sharks.

“Hey, Prescott, this is Buzz.”

“Buzz, I keep telling you, Blanchett is not on the block. This team in right in contention.”

Buzz sighed internally. The Sharks were nine games out of the wild card spot. They had caught every lucky break possible this season, and when the luck turned against them, they would quickly be eliminated from the race. Prescott Williams refused to wave the white flag, however, and a fine pitcher like Al Blanchett would pay the price – languishing on a Sharks team that would fade into a second division club instead of leading the Jackals into the playoffs.

“I do like that catcher you have down in the minors,” commented Williams. “What sort of price would it take to acquire Bishop?”

Bismarck made a non-committal response that left a door open. Oscar Bishop wasn’t in the long term plans for the Jackals, and he would be a good fit for the Sharks, whose starting catcher was aging quickly. However, this sort of deal could wait – he had bigger fish to fry. Buzz asked a few quick questions about Prescott’s family. To be honest, he didn’t really care about the answers, and paid scarce attention.

Buzz took a brief respite from the phone and sniffed in the general direction of his feet. One of his scouts had told him that his feet smelled like dead fish. The was clearly not true. Live fish, perhaps. Dead fish, no.

The phone rang and Buzz broke from his reverie to grab it.

“Buzz Bismarck,” he grunted into the phone.

“Buzz, good to hear your pleasant voice again,” chirped the always-pleasant GM of the Rhinos, George Peyton. “We’re still looking for a good right handed power bat. Is there any chance Larry Morrisson might be available?”

“Sorry, George,” replied Buzz. “We really need to keep Larry Mo in the mix in our outfield. We could make Maloa available if you’re interested.”

“We’re not as interested in Maloa. His power has been sliding for the last couple of years.”

Peyton was right, of course, which was why Buzz was trying to dump him.

“OK, George. I’ll let you know if I can figure out a mutually beneficial deal.”

Bismarck grabbed the phone again and chatted up the GM of the Hyraxes. Hyrax pitcher Travis Wolf would be a good fit for the Jackals, but Gordon Auth wanted two good young pitching prospects. Lewis Burke was the sort of guy he was looking for, but none of the other pitching prospects in the Jackals organization interested the Hyraxes. Bismarck sighed once again, and hung up the phone.

Buzz grabbed the remote and flipped to some random game on the idiot box. The Sharks were playing, and Blanchett was on the mound. Bismarck was distracted by his thoughts, but a sharp crack made his head jerk to an upright position. It was not a good sort of crack.   It was the sort of crack bones make when they break.

The batter had driven a line drive off Blanchett’s leg, and the pitcher was in obvious pain as the medical staff tended to him.

I hit some news stories in Saturday’s article, so I’m taking a bit of a break today, with a fun article.

I am a huge baseball fan.  I am a big Rockies fan, of course, but I am also a bit fan of the sport, in general.  If I flip a game on, I can always root for one of the teams.  In fact, I have a fairly well defined team preferences, shown below.  It does get a bit hazy in the middle, between about 12 and 20.

What did you miss over the weekend?

• Friday  – Finishing up a trio of articles related to dinosaurs (including this giveaway) is the fiction short story What Really Killed the Dinosaurs.
• Saturday Stew – A pleasant mixture of news and sports from the week.  A considerable chunk of ink is is devoted the the Cardinals’ acquisition of Matt Holliday, while the subject of necrophilia also pops up.  We also welcomed Bob Inferapels back as the weekly entertainment writer.
• Sunday – Tyson Turner touches on some news briefs from Canada in North of the Border.

I’ve also added buttons that allow you to easily share links via Twitter, Digg, and Stumble.

Necrophilia

In 2006, three young men in Wisconsin attempted to dig up a recently diseased young woman so that one of them could have sex with her body.  One of the men had become infatuated with her after seeing her photo in the obituary column.  (Maybe it’s just me, but that’s not the first place I expect people to look for dates).  After a stop at a local Wal-Mart to buy condoms, the men arrived at the cemetery and proceeded to dug all the way down to the concrete vault before police, who had been notified of suspicious activity, arrived at the scene.  One of the men quickly cracked and blurted out the entire scheme.

Authorities in Wisconsin soon realized that the state did not have any necrophilia laws on the books.

The prosecutors wished to try them on sexual assault charges, but it was unclear if the state’s sexual assault laws applied to dead people.  The state supreme court decided that the laws did indeed apply, as a corpse is unable to give consent.  This logic threw me for a bit of a loop, as I had never stopped to wonder if someone had human rights after they were dead.

This week, the mastermind of the crime was found guilty of attempted sexual assault and was sentence to two years in jail.

Roethlisberger

Pittsburgh  Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was named as a defendant in civil lawsuit this week.  The lawsuit alleges that Roethlisberger raped her last July at the Tahoe resort where she worked.  The lawsuit seeks $480,000 in compensation.

Is it possible that the allegations are true?  Of course.  Is it likely?  No.  The woman has not contacted police to file any criminal charges … just the civil lawsuit.  This really seems like a ploy to squeeze money out of Big Ben.  After all, if she was traumatized to the extent of $480,000, wouldn’t she consider this to be criminal activity that should be reported to the authorities?  Show me a criminal complaint, and I’ll take notice.

Erin Andrews

ESPN reporter Erin Andrews was videotaped nude by a voyeur, apparently through a peephole in her hotel room.  The video quickly made its way onto the internet.  Interestingly, many of the links the purport to be the Andrews video are actually attempts to trick people into downloading a virus – so those of you who are trying to find this video should be aware of the distinct possibility that you may instead give your computer a nasty virus.  And if the thought crosses your mind to look for this video, stop for a minute and realize that this video was made without any knowledge by Andrews – give her some respect and stay away from the video.

The story got even worse, as some news networks used pieces of the video or photos (captured from the video) as part of their coverage of the story (with parts of Erin’s body obscured).  This crosses a line of journalistic ethics.  ESPN lashed back at one of the papers – The New York Post – by banning any of its reporters from appearing on ESPN shows.  Good call, ESPN.

Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin racked up a sizeable legal bill fending off multiple ethics complaints against her.  Most were dismissed, although she did have to pay back taxes on roughly $17,000 that the state reimbursed her for per diem expenses (on nights she spent away from the the governor’s mansion in Juneau – staying instead at her home in Wasilla) and had to reimburse the state for travel expenses for her family.

Palin created a fund so that her supporters could contribute toward her legal expenses.  Ironically, these donations may be a violation of state ethics laws.

Do yourself a favor, Republicans – find a better candidate in 2012.  If you want to have a woman on the ticket, take a look around.  Is Sarah Palin the best woman for the job?

Matt Holliday

On Friday, Matt Holliday was traded from the A’s to the Cardinals for three prospects, including 3B Brett Wallace.  The presence of Holliday will add another strong bat to join Albert Pujols in the Cardinals lineup.  There will be a cage match fight to determine who gets to keep the number 5 on their jersey.

Holliday’s numbers have slid from his numbers with the Rockies.  While many of his critics say that this shows he is a product of Coors Field, other factors are at play.  Not only did he move to a less hitter-friendly park (indeed, to a very hitter unfriendly park in Oakland), but he also changed leagues, rendering years of studying National League pitchers mostly useless, and forcing him to learn the tendencies of a hundred new pitchers.  This takes some time.  While Holliday had a dreadful April, he has a .905 OPS since May 5 (before Friday’s game).  And while Oakland is a terrible hitter’s park, Holliday’s home OPS is actually 89 points higher than his road OPS – compared to a standard MLB home/road split of +30.  Sure, it’s a small sample, but perhaps he’s the type of player who is simply more comfortable in his home surroundings, regardless of what those surroundings are.  When he was with the Rockies, his split differential far exceeded that of any other Rockies player – casting some doubt on the assertion that he was merely a production of Coors (since a rising tide should lift all boats).

How did Holliday do in his first game with the Cardinals, on Friday night?  4-5, with a double, a stolen base, a run, and an RBI.

Holliday has typically fared very well in the summer months, and the playoff race may energize him and boost his performance.  Enjoy the view, St. Louis.

Rockies update

Todd Helton of the Rockies recorded his 500th career double on Wednesday, becoming the 50th player in the history of Major League Baseball to reach that mark.  Helton’s once prodigious power numbers have been sapped by back ailments and a humidor in Coors Field, and his contract is considered by many to be a financial albatross, but Helton is universally revered by Rockies fans as the first truly great player that was drafted and developed by the Rockies.

On Monday, the Rockies took over the lead in the National League wild card race.  The Rockies had gotten off to a horrible start under former manager Clint Hurdle before rebounding with a 31-10 record from June 4 through Monday – good enough to push them past division rival San Francisco for the catbird seat in the wild card race.

On Wednesday night, Rockies top prospect Jhoulys Chacin was pulled from his start with AA Tulsa after 9 pitches.  The reason given was that the move was made in anticipation of possible future organizational move.  Speculation quickly came to a head, with fans wondering in Chacin would be traded (perhaps in a deal for Jays pitcher Roy Halladay), or would he skip AAA Colorado Springs for a promotion to the big club?  Well, it turns out that JC will be tossed into the shaky Rockies bullpen.  On Thursday, the Rockies acquired Rafael Betancourt from Cleveland to further bolster the pen.  Don’t be surprised if Garrett Atkins is traded before the deadline.